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In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so? Do you agree or disagree?

In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so? MM3o9
Nowadays, most people spend a considerable amount of time online. It was not true for the past generations as it was common for people to have barbeques and parties with their neighbours next door. As a result of the latest developments in the communication technology, people’s minds shifted from offline real-life interactions with neighbours to online interactions with some random people they met online. The exact reasons of this will be outlined in this essay. Social media can be taken as a major factor for the above-mentioned changes. Popular social websites, i. e. , Facebook and Twitter, both have more than a billion users that visit the website daily. Most of those people are people who live their usual lives and chat online with people from all over the world. At the same time, in the previous centuries, people did not have an option to log in to Facebook and chat online, therefore, they spent time with their friends from their present town and their neighbours. The aforementioned changes resulted in growing number of people who do not even know their neighbours. Moreover, the development of telephones and cellphones exemplifies another reason of that shift. If people of the 19th century had an opportunity to send an SMS or call their friends from another part of the town, the would appparently done that. However, they did not have such a great chance and had to spend most of their free time with the people from the same city and neighbourhood. The present day people, on the other hand, can easily call a person from another country. Thus, the invention of telephone has greatly contributed to the described processes. Consequently, nowaday people mostly communicate through their pesonal cellphones or via social media. Normally, most people do not know their neighbours really well. I pesonally agree that people do not have cordial relationship with their neighbours due to the reasons described in that essay.
Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a considerable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It was not true for the past generations as it was common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
Possible spelling mistake found.
barbeques
and parties with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
next
door.
As a result
of the latest developments in the communication technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds shifted from offline real-life interactions with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
interactions with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The exact reasons of this will
be outlined
in this essay.

Social media can
be taken
as a major factor for the above-mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. Popular social websites,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Facebook and Twitter, both have more than a billion users that visit the website daily. Most of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their usual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in the previous centuries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have an option to log in to Facebook and chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
therefore
, they spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends from their present town and their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. The aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
resulted in growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not even know their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

Moreover
, the development of telephones and cellphones exemplifies another reason of that shift. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the 19th century had an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an SMS or call their friends from another part of the town, the would
Possible spelling mistake found.
appparently
done that.
However
, they did not have such a great chance and had to spend most of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the same city and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. The present day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
, can
easily
call a person from another country.
Thus
, the invention of telephone has
greatly
contributed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
processes.

Consequently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
communicate through their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pesonal
cellphones or via social media.
Normally
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
really
well. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
pesonally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have cordial relationship with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
due to the reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in that essay.

IELTS essay In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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