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In general,people are living longer now

In general, people are living longer now RyMKM
People are living longer now, due to the fact world is developing ever minute. We see how technologies influence everyone, young or old society I think technological and medical development are the reason why today person should live longer, than ancient centuries. I Firstly, in other times the countries were always in a war. They didn’t think about their health, they were living only for eat food and had much area. They didn't know, what was good medicine, because these cities and countries were undeveloped. The men end the women when it was the world wars, they were dying sometimes, because of bad medical services. Secondly, there were not capable hospitals, they had hospitals, but it was old, dirty, without some medicines, undeveloped stuff, but today the problems is solved. The government’s want peace, not war, due to the fact they wanna live with their citizens longer, because it helps countries to be successful. Europe is one of the most successful and loving. Their citizens love peace, they are friendly and living longer, because they developed in all sides. A final reason, why we should leave longer is of course medical development. Today we know if we will have problem with our health, the doctors will solve the problem, if you have problem with heart, you can do heart transplantation, if you not have one lung you can do lung transplantation you should do transplantation of everything, but also you must have much money, because without money your health will doomed. In conclusion, is there may be specific reasons, why people are living longer now. You should live longer if you will have good health, if you will have medical support and will be careful with yourself. Finally, every person has his choice live longer or not and medical and technological development only helps them in that choice.
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People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, due to the fact world is developing ever minute. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how technologies influence everyone, young or
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old
society I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
technological and
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medical
development are the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
person should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, than ancient centuries. I

Firstly
, in other times the countries were always in a war. They didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for eat food and had much area. They didn't know, what was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medicine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these cities and countries
were undeveloped
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the women when it was the world wars, they were dying
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sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services.

Secondly
, there were not capable hospitals, they had hospitals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, dirty, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicines, undeveloped stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is solved
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s want peace, not war, due to the fact they
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
countries to be successful. Europe is one of the most successful and loving. Their citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
peace, they are friendly and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they developed in all sides.

A final reason, why we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
is
of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we know if we will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, the doctors will solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with heart, you can do heart transplantation, if you not have one lung you can do lung transplantation you should do transplantation of everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have much money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without money your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "doom"
doomed
.

In conclusion
, is there may be specific reasons, why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. You should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
if you will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, if you will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
support and will be careful with yourself.
Finally
, every person has his choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
or not and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and technological development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in that choice.
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IELTS essay In general, people are living longer now

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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