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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. RNNEG
Humans hold different views regarding whether the museums should be joyful or educational. While the museums are recommended to be the places of fun, I take the view that the museums should be the places of obtaining the knowledge. Entertainment in the museums can assist to increase the number of people going to the museums. To put it another way, if the staff of museum organises a quiz game for people based on giving questions, such as “when did this dinosaur live? ” or “who built this sculpture? ” and gives them prizes according to their results it will help to gain regular visitors. Furthermore, as the exact day of school week (usually Friday) is devoted to explore some monuments or statues in museums in many countries, museum entertainment will also encourage pupils to constantly visit such places rather than a flying visit once a week. Hence, the museums should be the places of pleasure and enjoying. Nevertheless, it is true that the main intention of the museums is to teach attendants since visitors are people interested in history is high and who want to push back the limits of their knowledge. For instance, the museums have many specimens and skeletons of ancient animals like dinosaurs and mammoths which will be of great importance to student who is conducting a research on these animals. Moreover, the museums encompass plenty of illustrations, exhibitions and information concerning how primitive people lived and what tools they used to survive from attack of wild animals which school book doesn’t have. Therefore, the object of the museums is to remain educational. In conclusion, although the argued that the museums should provide amusement, it is my firm conviction that museums should be the places to gain knowhow about the past.
Humans hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views regarding whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be joyful or educational. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are recommended
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of fun, I take the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of obtaining the knowledge.

Entertainment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can assist to increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. To put it another way, if the staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
Possible spelling mistake. 'organises' is British English.
organises
a quiz game for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on giving questions, such as “when did this dinosaur
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
? ” or “who built this sculpture? ” and gives them prizes according to their results it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain regular visitors.
Furthermore
, as the exact day of school week (
usually
Friday)
is devoted
to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
monuments or statues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entertainment will
also
encourage pupils to
constantly
visit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
rather
than a flying visit once a week.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of pleasure and enjoying.

Nevertheless
, it is true that the main intention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is to teach attendants since visitors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interested in history is high and who want to push back the limits of their knowledge.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
specimens and skeletons of ancient animals like dinosaurs and mammoths which will be of great importance to student who is conducting
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on these animals.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
encompass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of illustrations, exhibitions and information concerning how primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
and what tools they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to survive from attack of wild animals which school book doesn’t have.
Therefore
, the object of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is to remain educational.

In conclusion
, although the argued that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should provide amusement, it is my firm conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to gain
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowhow
about the past.
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IELTS essay Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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