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iN CURRENT SOCIETY, PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM OBESITY. what ARE THE effects? What is the main cause of this?

iN CURRENT SOCIETY, PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM OBESITY. what ARE THE effects? What is the main cause of this? 2RXlo
In this contemporary society ubiquity of fast food outlets are common which is the major concern. Being obese or overweight means you are carrying too much weight and body fat. In this essay I will discuss some causes and effects of obesity. Firstly, the main causes of obesity are an imbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle which are medically proven. In addition, children love to enjoy food from restaurants and fast food outlets like kFC, which is high in calories. Moreover, these street foods are also high in saturated fat. As a result, too much consumption of fast food and drinks leads to obesity in the younger generation. For example, in developed countries like the USA and Australia obesity is a big problem because of fast life. As a consequence, there are numerous effects of being overweight, but mentally and physical problems are very common in this modern society. Furthermore, people are getting chronic illnesses due to unhealthy lifestyles, which is increasing everywhere in the world. As well as, people who are overweight most likely suffer from physical issues like not performing with full ability at their work and lose their focus. For instance, In most countries like India people have to hire workers to do their house work and in the USA people are dying because of unhealthy diets. In conclusion, obesity is affecting our community in a very intense way. Also, too much dependence on fast food outlets and a lazy lifestyle harms our society, which is happening because of fast growing society. Additionally, it is impacting us mentally and physically. In particular, the younger generation are suffering more from being overweight.
In this contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
ubiquity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets are common which is the major concern. Being obese or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
means you are carrying too much weight and body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. In this essay I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and effects of obesity.

Firstly
, the main causes of obesity are an imbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle which are
medically
proven.
In addition
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from restaurants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets like
Possible spelling mistake found.
kFC
, which is high in calories.
Moreover
, these street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
also
high in saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
As a result
, too much consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks leads to obesity in the younger generation.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like the USA and Australia obesity is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
life.

As a consequence, there are numerous effects of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mentally and physical problems are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting chronic illnesses due to unhealthy lifestyles, which is increasing everywhere in the world.
As well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
most likely suffer from physical issues like not performing with full ability at their work and lose their focus.
For instance
, In most countries like India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire workers to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
work and in the USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unhealthy diets.

In conclusion
, obesity is affecting our community in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intense way.
Also
, too much dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets and a lazy lifestyle harms our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Additionally
, it is impacting us mentally and
physically
.
In particular
, the younger generation are suffering more from being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
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IELTS essay iN CURRENT SOCIETY, PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM OBESITY. what ARE THE effects? What is the main cause of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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