Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In countries where there is high unemployment ,most pupils should be offered only primary education . There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job.At what extent do you agree?

It is argued by some that instead of secondary education, only initial education should be provided to individuals in nations, where unemployment rate is high. However, i completely disagree with this statement as education is the predominant right of everyone. One major argument to support my opinion is that it is inequitable for students that are unable to obtain jobs after finishing basic study. By going to secondary school, pupils procure new skills and knowledge, whereas they might become unimaginative and spiritless in opposite view. In other words, teenagers would be able to get employed in a reputed organization, perhaps self-employed. For instance, my grandfather had taken decision that my brother will not be admitted for secondary education because he was too weak in studies. My grandfather said that my brother will assist him in family business, while its i did not support my grandfather and convince everyone for further coaching. As a result, nowadays he is junior software developer in a Multinational Company. Another argument is that instead of employment, education also aid in holistic development of an individual. One can acquire communication skills, leadership quality, teamwork, and confidence through secondary schooling which may helpful in future. Furthermore, education also improve intellectual and interpersonal skills of an individual, and make them more creative in generating new ideas. With aforementioned overall development, one can do higher studies or job overseas after completing his/her school. To conclude, secondary schooling is must for every child for better employment opportunities as well as for complete development of an individual.
It
is argued
by
some
that
instead
of
secondary
education
,
only
initial
education
should
be provided
to
individuals
in nations, where unemployment rate is high.
However
,
i
completely disagree with this statement as
education
is the predominant right of everyone.

One major argument to support my opinion is that it is inequitable for students that are unable to obtain jobs after finishing basic study. By going to
secondary
school, pupils procure new
skills
and knowledge, whereas they might become unimaginative and spiritless in opposite view.
In other words
,
teenagers
would be able to
get
employed in a reputed organization, perhaps self-employed.
For instance
, my grandfather had taken decision that my brother will not
be admitted
for
secondary
education
because
he was too weak in studies. My grandfather said that my brother will assist him in family business, while its
i
did not support my grandfather and convince everyone for
further
coaching.
As a result
, nowadays he is junior software developer in a Multinational
Company
.

Another argument is that
instead
of employment,
education
also
aid in holistic development of an
individual
. One can acquire communication
skills
, leadership quality, teamwork, and confidence through
secondary
schooling which may helpful
in future
.
Furthermore
,
education
also
improve
intellectual and interpersonal
skills
of an
individual
, and
make
them more creative in generating new
ideas
. With aforementioned
overall
development, one can do higher studies or job overseas after completing his/her school.

To conclude
,
secondary
schooling is
must
for every child for better employment opportunities
as well
as for complete development of an
individual
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. At what extent do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts