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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Nowadays, in most of the countries, older people would not like to be burden on their children, so they often decide to spend rest of their life in old age homes after retirement. These old age homes mostly operated by non-government organizations where funding can be done by various governing bodies. In the given paragraphs, it is clearly defined that the family members of the elder people should take the responsibility of their loved ones and pay for their expenses and care facilities. There is a responsibility of these earning young ones to support their retired parents at the time of need. Family members should visit them regularly and ensure that basic necessities should be taken care of. Parents never ask their child to provide them anything and that’s entirely based on one's understanding to give them what they want. In addition to this, monthly health checkups to be scheduled at these centers to pre-diagnose the diseases, if any. Young ones should ensure that if centers missed this medical camp, then they should take the lead. Additionally, emotional support plays a vital role, especially for the older age groups. To extend this support, weekly or monthly trips should be organized by the family members to make them comfortable and relaxed. For example, families who did outings with their elder ones has 70% healthier mental and physical health than the one’s sitting at home, a survey stated in Britain. In this way, young ones counsel them and get the information for the problems they are facing, so that initiative can be taken to eradicate them. To conclude, we can easily say that elder ones did many compromises and efforts to nourish and groom their young ones. It is the responsibility of their family members to take care of them financially and emotionally irrespective of the place where they live.
Nowadays, in most of the countries, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not like to be burden on their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
decide to spend rest of their life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes after retirement. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes
mostly
operated by non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations where funding can
be done
by various governing bodies. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
paragraphs, it is
clearly
defined that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take the responsibility of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and pay for their expenses and care facilities.

There is a responsibility of these earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to support their retired parents at the time of need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
should visit them
regularly
and ensure that
Consider using “necessities”.
basic necessities
should
be taken
care of. Parents never ask their child to provide them anything and that’s
entirely
based on one's understanding to give them what they want.
In addition
to this, monthly health checkups to
be scheduled
at these centers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-diagnose
the diseases, if any.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
should ensure that if centers missed this medical camp, then they should take the lead.

Additionally
, emotional support plays a vital role,
especially
for the older age groups. To extend this support, weekly or monthly trips should
be organized
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them comfortable and relaxed.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who did outings with their elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
has 70% healthier mental and physical health than the one’s sitting at home, a survey stated in Britain. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
counsel them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information for the problems they are facing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that initiative can
be taken
to eradicate them.

To conclude
, we can
easily
say that elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compromises and efforts to nourish and groom their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. It is the responsibility of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to take care of them
financially
and
emotionally
irrespective of the place where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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