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The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

hitting students in the schools are in decreasing order they should be motivated to change their activities rather than physical torture. It#039; s true, an effective approach for changing student studies is not only the physical punishment whether with such attempts the students stop going to school. The punishment may hamper the brain development of a student, the different way of treating can shift a student cycle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
hitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the schools are in decreasing order they should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their activities
rather
than physical torture. It#039; s true, an effective approach for changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
studies is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the physical punishment whether with such attempts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
going to school. The punishment may hamper the brain development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of treating can shift a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cycle.
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IELTS essay The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
67 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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