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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? 565lB
Elder people need a special attention in their last years. However, children are becoming more and more busy, which urged the introduction of a special centers for old people. In these places, lot of attention is given. Nurses and doctors are always available to look after our parents. As a conequence, fees should be paid for this special service. This essay will discusss the best ways of funding for this care. On the one hand, keeping in mind that each elder has the right to be treated well during his last years, necessite that retirement facilities should be funded by the governments. People who contibuted to the development of their society by paying their taxes should have the right to secure a better final stage of their life. To illustrate, a person who paid all taxes to the government and cannot afford the fees of such a special care, the govermnent should help him woth the funding. In addition, if the family members are not able to pay for a senior residence, the authorities should be ready to help. Therefore, ministy should be invest in these centers because each individual has the right for this care. On the other hand, wealthy society members may contribute in the funding of senior's residence. If rich individuals pay for their parents stay, this could help in providing a better service for the entire center. More available funds means an increase in the quality of the service provided. To give an example, more nurses could be hired if care centers have enough funds. As a consequence, contribution of the private sector in the funding of retirement residences helps improving the quality of the service offered. To conclude, collaboration between individuals and the governments is essantial to offer the best to elder people. Authorities and wealthy families should fund care centers dedicated to old persons.
Elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
attention in their last years.
However
, children are becoming more and more busy, which urged the introduction of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In these places, lot of attention is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Nurses and doctors are always available to look after our parents. As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
conequence
, fees should
be paid
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
discusss
the best ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
for this care.

On the one hand, keeping in mind that each elder has the right to
be treated
well during his last years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
necessite
that retirement facilities should
be funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
contibuted
to the development of their society by paying their taxes should have the right to secure a better final stage of their life. To illustrate, a person who paid all taxes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and cannot afford the fees of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
care, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
govermnent
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him
Possible spelling mistake found.
woth
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
.
In addition
, if the family members are not able to pay for a senior residence, the authorities should be ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ministy
should be
Consider using the past participle "invested"?
invest
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each individual has the right for this care.

On the other hand
, wealthy society members may contribute in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
of senior's residence. If rich individuals pay for their parents stay, this could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in providing a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for the entire center. More available funds means an increase in the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
provided. To give an example, more nurses could
be hired
if care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds. As a consequence, contribution of the private sector in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
of retirement residences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to improve" or "improve".
improving
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
offered.

To conclude
, collaboration between individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
essantial
to offer the best to elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Authorities and wealthy families should fund care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
dedicated to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
persons.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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