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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? 3Eew
The old age homes with nursing care in Britain, are often funded by the government. There are various reasons for elderly people to choose to live in an old age home and it is the responsibility of the government to pay for their care and shelter. Firstly, an old and sick person is not able to perform his daily tasks without help. He is un able to earn for a living because of his age and is unable to pay for his care. For example, In USA, pension from the government facilitates the retired and old people to carry out their lives peacefully in their homes. Secondly, Many times people choose old age homes due to the fact that there is no one from their immediate family to take care for them. Hence, they need care and company to spend their days. For example, A person whose all family members passed away, either working in different cities or studying may not have time to look after their elderly, hence they choose old age homes for their elderly. Hence it is concluded that the weight of the responsibility for paying for old age homes lies on the government than their families because not every old age person has a family or has a care taker to look after them. Moreover, people get old and retired after serving their whole life to the country. Hence its is the country's responsibility to pay them back for their services to take care of them when needed.
The
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old
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age
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homes
with nursing
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care
in Britain, are
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often
funded by the
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government
. There are various reasons for elderly
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people
to choose to
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live
in an
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old
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age
home and it is the responsibility of the
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government
to pay for their
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care
and shelter.

Firstly
, an
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old
and sick person is not able to perform his daily tasks without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. He is
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un able
to earn for a living
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because
of his
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age
and is unable to pay for his
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care
.
For example
, In USA, pension from the
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government
facilitates the retired and
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old
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people
to carry out their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
peacefully
in their homes.

Secondly
,
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Many
times
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people
choose
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old
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age
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homes
due to the fact that there is no one from their immediate
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family
to take
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care
for them.
Hence
, they need
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care
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to spend their days.
For example
, A person
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whose
all
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family
members passed away, either working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities or studying may not have time to look after their elderly,
hence
they choose
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for their elderly.

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Hence
it
is concluded
that the weight of the responsibility for paying for
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
lies on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not every
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old
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age
person has a
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family
or has a
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care
taker to look after them.
Moreover
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and retired after serving their whole life to the country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
its is the country's responsibility to pay them back for their services to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them when needed.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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