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Nowadays people are spending more time in watching movies. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays people are spending more time in watching movies. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development? KEx1
In this modern era, plethora of masses are spending their useful time on some unproductive activities like watching films. I really believe that over watching pictures are a negative development. In this essay I shall delve the reasons of opting it as well as the supportingideas of this negative approach in looming paragraphs. There are numerous reasons of endless watching of cinema. To begin with, nowadays, cinemas and theaters are avail in large numbers. Apart from this, mostly the prices of tickets are quite pocket friendly for the masses so that they rushed to watch the films. To examplify, ln a recent survey which held in punjab stated that there is almost double increasment happened in theatres than yester year. Add to it, currently there are enormous websites and softwares are available on mobiles and desktops which viewers can use at any place for watching motion pictures. For example, nowadays people watch films whenever, they are doing exercise or even they are in queue for paying an electricity bill because of the easy accessibility of information technology. Due to above reasons, masses spend their significant time on seeing movies. The reasons why I reckon that spending huge amount of time on watching motion pictures is a negative approach as firstly, it makes folks unproductive as they spend most of the time on unproductive activities rather than productive tasks such as playing games and doing exercise. Furthermore, by seeing too much movies, folks becomes couch potatoes and suffer from deleterious diseases such as obesity. Top of all, some viewers have faced vision problems in the future due to spending most of time in front of screen. To cap it all, I opine that cheap accessibility of cine resources make people to spend a lots of time on pictures which has negative impact on their over all health.
In this modern era, plethora of masses are spending their useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unproductive activities like watching films. I
really
believe that over watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development. In this essay I shall delve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of opting it
as well
as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
supportingideas
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
approach in looming paragraphs. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of endless watching of cinema. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays, cinemas and theaters are avail in large numbers. Apart from this,
mostly
the prices of tickets are quite pocket friendly for the masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they rushed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the films. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ln
a recent survey which held in
Possible spelling mistake found.
punjab
stated that there is almost double
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasment
happened in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
yester
year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Add
to it,
currently
there are enormous websites and
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
are available on mobiles and desktops which viewers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at any place for watching motion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
.
For example
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films whenever, they are doing exercise or even they are in queue for paying an electricity bill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the easy accessibility of information technology. Due to above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, masses spend their significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on seeing movies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I reckon that spending huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching motion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
approach as
firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
folks unproductive as they spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on unproductive activities
rather
than productive tasks such as playing games and doing exercise.
Furthermore
, by seeing too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
movies, folks becomes couch potatoes and suffer from deleterious diseases such as obesity. Top of all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viewers have faced vision problems in the future due to spending most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of screen. To cap it all, I opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
accessibility of cine resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to spend
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on their over all health.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people are spending more time in watching movies. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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