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In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes some people work harder than others? Is it always good thing to work harder?

In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes some people work harder than others? Is it always good thing to work harder? xPxGw
In present age, everyone wants to be successful, however, there are only few people who devote themselves to their career. What makes them to do so are their family background and maintaing status. Even though it is taken as a positive thing but spending almost all time in study and job can harm social relations. One of the main reasons for devoting oneself in educational as well as in professional areas is family background. That is to say that youngsters who belong to poor family want to upgrade their economical level along with that they tend to set examples for other students from their locality. As a evidence, if a son of driver got opportunity to study, he will surely give his best in educational field. Moreover, it can encourage other children from similar background to achieve anything they want. Maintaining status is one of the many reasons for some to keep working. In other words, person who has built a high status in society will never want to lose it. For instance, Bill Gate is one of the most successful businessman; however, he works hard until now to be in that position. Living in the same fame that we have gained is extremely difficult in order to be in that place we have to work hard. Devoting all time in study and work can be detrimental because we are social animal and in order to adjust in this world we must spend time with family and friends. Although everyone appreciate a person who is honest to his commitment, yet it makes him unsocial. That means always being busy in work is not good. People must give time to their relatives and most importantly to their health. To conclude, the reason behind more concern about study and job for some are their family background and maintaing status however, snowed under works can harm our health and relationship.
In present age, everyone wants to be successful,
however
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
devote themselves to their career. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
.
Even though
it
is taken
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and job can harm social relations.

One of the main reasons for devoting oneself in educational
as well
as in professional areas is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
.
That is
to say that youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
belong to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
want to upgrade their economical level along with that they tend to set examples for other students from their locality. As
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
evidence, if a son of driver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, he will
surely
give his best in educational field.
Moreover
, it can encourage other children from similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
to achieve anything they want.

Maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working.
In other words
, person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has built a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
in society will never want to lose it.
For instance
, Bill Gate is one of the most successful
Please check whether a plural form of 'businessman' should be used.
businessman
;
however
, he works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to be in that position. Living in the same fame that we have gained is
extremely
difficult in order to be in that place we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Devoting all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be detrimental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are social animal and in order to adjust in this world we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends. Although everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "appreciates", "appreciated".
appreciate
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is honest to his commitment,
yet
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him unsocial. That means always being busy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their relatives and most
importantly
to their health.

To conclude
, the reason behind more concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and job for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
however
, snowed under works can harm our health and relationship.
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IELTS essay In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes some people work harder than others? Is it always good thing to work harder?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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