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In addition to foreign subcontractors and Boeing, who else benefits from Boeing’s decision to outsource component part manufacturing assembly to other nations? Who are the potential losers?

In addition to foreign subcontractors and Boeing, who else benefits from Boeing’s decision to outsource component part manufacturing assembly to other nations? Who are the potential losers? 0w5al
Benefactors to outsourcing include developing countries and workers in these countries to which the outsourcing takes place. Specifically, these workers may receive competitive wages for the skills they provide. Boeing will create many job opportunities in developing countries, which will boost the economy of these countries. Besides, the American economy and knowledgeable workers within Boeing or its related companies for production of aircrafts will be potential losers. They would not have the opportunity to use their skills and - in some cases - could lose their jobs as a result. This would cause unemployment to rise and the poor to become poorer. In addition, America will also lose its competitive advantage.
Benefactors to outsourcing include developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and workers in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to which the outsourcing takes place.
Specifically
, these workers may receive competitive wages for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they provide. Boeing will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which will boost the economy of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Besides
, the American economy and knowledgeable workers within Boeing or its related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for production of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts will
be potential losers. They would not have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
could lose their jobs
as a result
. This would cause unemployment to rise and the poor to become poorer.
In addition
, America will
also
lose its competitive advantage.

IELTS essay In addition to foreign subcontractors and Boeing, who else benefits from Boeing’s decision to outsource component part manufacturing assembly to other nations? Who are the potential losers?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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