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In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. with this statement? v. 1
Universities have a set of guidelines for providing admission to students. Nowadays the selection procedure of the institution is getting tougher thereby making it difficult for students irrespective of their economic background to pass through. I agree with the notion that accessing elite education is difficult for both rich and poor. This essay will discuss the requirements of colleges and challenges being faced by students. To begin with, candidates belonging to low income group suffer major problem of financing their college education and living expenses. Top universities across the world for providing quality education charge high tuition fees which are difficult for poor students to cover on their own. Although Universities provide scholarships, these are limited in number and doesn't cover the living expenses. For instance, studying at Stanford University on an average would cost $40-50K and along with living expenses the total cost would around $50-60K, even though 50% concession is provided still $30K is a huge amount for poor students to cover. So, a limited number of assistantships provided by institutions forces candidates from low income group to avoid college education. Therefore, money is one primary reason behind making elite education inaccessible for the low income group people. While money is not a concern for wealthy students, their blockage is passing the academic criteria of colleges. Most of the top universities today not only focuses on grades obtained in standardised test, but they look for the complete educational background of the candidates. These institutions today are looking for academic excellence. For instance, getting admission into any Ivy League college it is required for a student to have high grades in primary and secondary school, awards or achievements in other fields like sports, music, social services etc. So, these requirements collectively make it harder for any affluent student to clear the selection criteria. Therefore, high standards of academic requirements act as barrier for wealthy students in accessing the college education. To conclude, in my view both rich and poor students are facing challenges in getting admission to their desired institutions be it monetary limitations or high academic requirements. This essay discussed the blockages in the pathway of accessing University education irrespective of the economic background of the people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
have a set of guidelines for providing admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Nowadays the selection procedure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
is getting tougher thereby making it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
irrespective of their economic background to pass through. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that accessing elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is difficult for both rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. This essay will discuss the requirements of colleges and challenges
being faced
by students.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, candidates belonging to low income group suffer major problem of financing their college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and living expenses. Top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
across the world for providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
tuition fees which are difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to cover on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
provide scholarships, these
are limited
in number and doesn't cover the living expenses.
For instance
, studying at Stanford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
on an average would cost $40-50K and along with living expenses the total cost would around $50-60K,
even though
50% concession
is provided
still
$30K is a huge amount for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to cover.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a limited number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
assistantships
provided by institutions forces candidates from low income group to avoid college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, money is one primary reason behind making elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
inaccessible for the low income group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

While money is not a concern for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, their blockage is passing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
criteria of colleges. Most of the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on grades obtained in
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they look for the complete educational background of the candidates. These institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
excellence.
For instance
, getting admission into any Ivy League college it
is required
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
grades in primary and secondary school, awards or achievements in other fields like sports, music, social services etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these requirements
collectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder for any affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the selection criteria.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
requirements act as barrier for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in accessing the college education.

To conclude
, in my view both rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing challenges in getting admission to their desired institutions be it monetary limitations or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
requirements. This essay discussed the blockages in the pathway of accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
irrespective of the economic background of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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