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in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. POlB
The methods of travelling have changed drastically over the recent years. Despite governments’ numerous efforts to improve all mods of transportation, it appears to be a cause for concern. Opinions widely vary as to whether investment on manufacturing new high-speed trains between cities is the best option or ameliorating existing public transportation. This essay will analyze both sides of argument and reach a concluding view. On the one hand, some claim that constructing fast speed trains have a wide range of benefits for both societies and individuals. In the first place, these trains can be known as an eco-friendly means of transportation on the grounds of using electricity instead of harmful fuel. As such, the more money invested in this new project, the less the air is polluted, helping to reduce the effect of damaging, polluting particles came from vehicles’ emission. Moreover, it is true that passengers can save their travelling time, especially during the peak hours due to the fact that trains would never being stuck in traffic congestion, resulting in reducing the number of accidents in general. Hence, it is justifiable if governments spend more money to built new railway lines system. On the other hand, the necessities of travelling among cities is less than inner communications to the point that some opine it is beneficial for funding in developing existing public transportation. Due to population growth, the capacity of pubic transportation is not enough for city dwellers, and thus most people incline to use their cars, which leads adverse consequences in metropolises. Added to this, the majority of people cannot pay the high ticket prices of fast trains, so they prefer to travel by bus or underground systems, which have more reasonable prices. Thus, it is beneficial to invest more money in public transportation rather than high-speed trains. In conclusion, although the construction of new fast trains is superficially attractive, I believe it more justice that countries fund more money in developing public transportation due to above-mentioned reasons.
The methods of travelling have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
over the recent years. Despite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’ numerous efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
all mods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, it appears to be a cause for concern. Opinions
widely
vary
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
investment on manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between cities is the best option or ameliorating existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This essay will analyze both sides of argument and reach a concluding view.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that constructing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
have a wide range of benefits for both societies and individuals. In the
first
place, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can
be known
as an eco-friendly means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
on the grounds of using electricity
instead
of harmful fuel. As such, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
invested in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
project, the less the air
is polluted
, helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effect of damaging, polluting particles came from vehicles’ emission.
Moreover
, it is true that passengers can save their travelling time,
especially
during the peak hours due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
would never
being stuck
in traffic congestion, resulting in reducing the number of accidents
in general
.
Hence
, it is justifiable if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway lines system.

On the other hand
, the necessities of travelling among cities is less than inner communications to the point that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine it is beneficial for funding in developing existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Due to population growth, the capacity of
Did you mean "public"?
pubic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for city dwellers, and
thus
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
incline to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cars, which leads adverse consequences in metropolises.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot pay the high ticket prices of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer to travel by bus or underground systems, which have more reasonable prices.
Thus
, it is beneficial to invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
rather
than high-speed trains.

In conclusion
, although the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is
superficially
attractive, I believe it more justice that countries fund more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
due to above-mentioned reasons.
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IELTS essay in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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