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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved? gPRg
It is considered by many that nowadays there have been more and more medical cases related to obesity. This essay would expound the reasons of this phenomenon, as well as the steps that could be taken to alleviate the situation. In my opinion, the intensive growth of overweight people can be caused by a lot of reasons. Firstly, the significant development of the economy in this era has had serious impacts on people’s lifestyles. Many prefer fast food to home made food because they don’t want to waste time on cooking. Secondly, the sedentary lifestyle, especially in major cities, is also responsible for obesity. People spend little to no physical activities, which leads to less burning of fat. Therefore, lack of exercise and poor nutrition are the main reasons for the increase in obesity. In order to overcome the problem weight, I believe that people should take some effective measures. A balanced diet would make a huge difference in people’s health conditions. Employees should choose lunch boxes, which are much more nutritious, instead of fast food. Regarding the companies, a possible way is opening indoor gyms and holding events that require physical activities to keep their employees in good shape. In conclusion, health issues due to obesity have become more serious. The main reasons include the excessive intake of fast food and sedentary lifestyle. Thus, some solutions such as maintaining a balanced diet and doing exercises should be put into action
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that nowadays there have been more and more medical cases related to obesity. This essay would expound the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this phenomenon,
as well
as the steps that could
be taken
to alleviate the situation.

In my opinion, the intensive growth of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, the significant development of the economy in this era has had serious impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to home made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t want to waste time on cooking.
Secondly
, the sedentary lifestyle,
especially
in major cities, is
also
responsible for obesity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no physical activities, which leads to less burning of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Therefore
, lack of exercise and poor nutrition are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the increase in obesity.

In order to overcome the problem weight, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures. A balanced diet would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health conditions. Employees should choose lunch boxes, which are much more nutritious,
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, a possible way is opening indoor gyms and holding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that require physical activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their employees in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.

In conclusion
, health issues due to obesity have become more serious. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
include the excessive intake of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sedentary lifestyle.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions such as maintaining a balanced diet and doing exercises should
be put
into action
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IELTS essay The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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