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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. EObR
While a certain amount of people believe investing large quantities of money in order to improve existing public transport, quite a few people are convinced that the construction of new, state of the art railway lines for quicker trains would be advantageous. After discussing why renovation of existing transport is severely needed, there will be an explanation why I believe that construction of new railways lines is a better option. More investment is necessary to restore failing existing public transport. Despite the increase in population, along with the growth of the number of people that travel long distances every day, a lot of the public transport systems have yet to be properly modernised. For example, in London the Underground has almost tripled its customers in recent years, while making almost no new additions and not replacing old equipment. Because of this, overcrowding is dangerously high, and trains often breakdown causing chaos among the centre of one of the biggest cities on earth. Therefore, it is obvious that a certain amount of funds must be set aside to improve already existing transport. Meanwhile, I firmly believe that it is sometimes unavoidable not to spend significant amounts to build the next generation of railway lines, in order to speed up commutes between cities using fast trains. For instance, before the installation of the TGV (high speed train ) in France, the voyage from Paris to Perpignan took almost 10 hours, due to the TGV this time has since been halved. Due to this improvement, a city viewed as too distant in the past, has been brought closer, and in turn this has led to an increase in investments in the city. This is one of the many reasons why I am convinced that high speed trains are essential to ensure smaller towns are not left behind. To conclude, whereas improving existing public transport may have its benefits, I believe these are dwarfed by the potential impact a high speed train can have by connecting cities.
While a certain amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
investing large quantities of money in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, quite a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convinced
that the construction of new,
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
railway lines for quicker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
would be advantageous. After discussing why renovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is
severely
needed, there will be an explanation why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that construction of new railways lines is a better option.

More investment is necessary to restore failing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. Despite the increase in population, along with the growth of the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that travel long distances every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems have
yet
to be
properly
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
.
For example
, in London the Underground has almost tripled its customers in recent years, while making almost no new additions and not replacing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
equipment.
Because of this
, overcrowding is
dangerously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
breakdown causing chaos among the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
on earth.
Therefore
, it is obvious that a certain amount of funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be set
aside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
transport.

Meanwhile, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
unavoidable not to spend significant amounts to build the
next
generation of railway lines, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
up commutes between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the installation of the TGV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
in France, the voyage from Paris to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Perpignan
took almost 10 hours, due to the TGV this time has since
been halved
. Due to this improvement, a city viewed as too distant in the past, has
been brought
closer, and in turn this has led to an increase in investments in the city. This is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are essential to ensure smaller towns are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.

To conclude
, whereas improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
may have its benefits, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these
are dwarfed
by the potential impact a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
can have by connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
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IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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