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in 60 minutes, write a paragraph of approximately 200 words to discuss the biggest challenges/difficulties of a university student.

in 60 minutes, write a paragraph of approximately 200 words to discuss the biggest challenges/difficulties of a university student. 8Gp8l
The Challenges of University Student University is an environment that gives students many great challenges, of which the biggest difficulty is independence as well as pressures in studying and working. Firstly, most students will want to attend institutions in large cities, which means they will have to live away from home. Most freshmen have never lived away from their parents' arms, but when they start university, they will have to do everything on their own, such as renting a room, cooking for oneself, and going to the hospital when they become sick. Many people who aren't used to such a drastic change will feel a lot of pressure, homesickness, and even the desire to give up. Secondly, majority university students work part-time jobs to support their families or supplement their income. There will be no difficulty if they can divide their time between studying and working, but if their schedule is too tight while their work is also quite busy, they will be under strain. Many students have complained that when they have to study and work all day, they don't get enough sleep, which has a negative impact on their health and academic performance. In conclusion, these are obstacles that I feel any college student will experience, but it is also a challenges to assist them in becoming more mature and robust as they go on their journey into the future.
The Challenges of University Student

University is an environment that gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great challenges, of which the biggest difficulty is independence
as well
as pressures in studying and working.
Firstly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will want to attend institutions in large cities, which means they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
away from home. Most freshmen have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
away from their parents' arms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
university, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do everything on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, such as renting a room, cooking for oneself, and going to the hospital when they become sick.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who aren't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to such a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure, homesickness, and even the desire to give up.
Secondly
, majority university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
work part-time jobs to support their families or supplement their income. There will be no difficulty if they can divide their time between studying and working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if their schedule is too tight while their work is
also
quite busy, they will be under strain.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have complained that when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study and work all day, they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sleep, which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their health and academic performance.
In conclusion
, these are obstacles that I feel any college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a challenge" or simply "challenges"?
a challenges
to assist them in becoming more mature and robust as they go on their journey into the future.
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IELTS essay in 60 minutes, write a paragraph of approximately 200 words to discuss the biggest challenges/difficulties of a university student.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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