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Numerous people nowadays suffer from insomnia .people sleep less than before in many countries . why do people sleep less ? What effect does it have on individuals And society

Numerous people nowadays suffer from insomnia. people sleep less than before in many countries. why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on individuals And society GlOxL
In many regions around the world, people have less sleep than they before. this trend which is mainly because of presence of distractions and noise pollution in many countries. undoubtedly, it creates harmful effects on individuals and on the whole society. To begin with, there are numerous reasons for why people do less sleep. first and foremost, technology development gives latest gadgets to the peoples. what is more, as they seems interesting and better way to spend laiser time rather than going to sleep. moreover, individuals used to of late night chats with their friends. Happily, many people waste their sleeping hours by playing different kind of video games and some of them addicted to pubg which is prominent game among youngsters. another factor, is that the noise pollution raised by urban dewellers day by day. it cause sleep deprivation. by upsurging the rates of construction and traffic conjestions in the cities made more noise and people are facing sleeping problem than before. Furthermore, this problem has drastic effects on individuals and society. by having less sleep, people will lose their ability to relax and enerzing their body. although people will started having extreme anger and anxiety. apart from that, they will lose their level of concentration and it become dangerous at some extend of life not only for itselfs but for the members of the society. for instance, a driver sleeps less hours as they needed. surely it may create road accident and innocent onces will also get trouble. To sum up, wasting people's free time on other activities rather than sleeping and increasing noise pollution in the some countries are the main factors behind having less sleeping hours. nowadays than before. This results negatively affecting individuals Healths as well as decreasing their concentration and output.
In
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many
regions around the world,
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people
have
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less
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sleep
than they
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before
.
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this
trend which is
mainly
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because
of presence of distractions and
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noise
pollution in
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many
countries.
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undoubtedly
, it creates harmful effects on
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individuals
and
on the whole
society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons for why
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people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
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first
and foremost, technology development gives
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
gadgets to the
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peoples
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
is more, as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
seems
interesting and better way to spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
laiser
time
rather
than going to
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sleep
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
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individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to of late night chats with their friends.
Happily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
hours by playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of video games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them addicted to
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
which is prominent game among youngsters.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
factor, is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution raised by urban
Possible spelling mistake found.
dewellers
day by day.
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it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
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sleep
deprivation.
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by
upsurging the rates of construction and traffic
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conjestions
in the cities made more
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noise
and
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people
are facing
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sleeping
problem than
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before
.
Furthermore
, this problem has drastic effects on
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individuals
and society.
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by
having
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less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
,
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people
will lose their ability to relax and
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enerzing
their body.
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although
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people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having extreme anger and anxiety.
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apart
from that, they will lose their level of concentration and it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
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dangerous
at
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some
Did you mean "extent" ('extent' is a noun, 'extend' is a verb)?
extend
of life not
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only
for
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itselfs
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but
for the members of the society.
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for
instance, a driver
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sleeps
Did you mean "fewer hours"?
less hours
as they needed.
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surely
it may create road accident and innocent
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onces will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trouble. To sum up, wasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's free time on other activities
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution in the
Did you mean "same"?
some
countries are the main factors behind having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
hours.
Use "(nowadays)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
nowadays
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This results
negatively
affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
Healths
as well
as decreasing their concentration and output.
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IELTS essay Numerous people nowadays suffer from insomnia. people sleep less than before in many countries. why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on individuals And society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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