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Impact of technology on people's relations and their positive and negative developments

Impact of technology on people's relations and their positive and negative developments 5LV0P
Today’s technology has made a huge impact on the way people communicate with each other. Various types of relationships in different fields of society are affected by the advancement of technology, with beneficial developments as well as harmful consequences. Technology has changed relationships of different types, especially in the fields of business and education. For example, businessmen from all over the world can now communicate with each other easily with the help of the internet, and this leaves them extra time for extra work. Moreover, the relationship between students and teachers has also been influenced considerably by modern technology, creating new means of communication between them. Using online education services like Zoom, students are now able to take online classes from teachers in a different city or even a different country. In addition, people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s technology has made a huge impact on the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
communicate with each other. Various types of relationships in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields of society are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the advancement of technology, with beneficial developments
as well
as harmful consequences.

Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
relationships of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types,
especially
in the fields of business and education.
For example
, businessmen from all over the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
communicate with each other
easily
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them extra time for extra work.
Moreover
, the relationship between students and teachers has
also
been influenced
considerably
by modern technology, creating new means of communication between them. Using online education services like Zoom, students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to take online classes from teachers in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
city or even a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
country.
In addition
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people
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IELTS essay Impact of technology on people's relations and their positive and negative developments

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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