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Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

The aftereffects of immigration of people from one place to another will have adverse effect on the society in terms of economic growth and availability of skilled labour. Only individuals with critical skills and strong financial background will be accepted by a foreign place, consequently what ever the new society gains will be a loss toold society. The basic character of human being is to improve his surroundings to live in an environment with better safety and comfort. When the situation in the present location is not improving, he migrates to a place which provides them. The main reason for immigration is the lack of steps taken by government both in terms of comfort for living or providing a safe environment. In some countries neither the basic needs such as roads, water, electricity is properly maintained nor a healthy environment with clean air, water or soil is available. Concluding, the government should ensure that both basic needs are fulfilled and are available in a cheap price so that everybody can afford it and a safe environment is maintained by introducing strict laws to curb pollution. Thus the citizens being happy will not think about moving to a different place.
The aftereffects of immigration of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another will have adverse effect on the society in terms of economic growth and availability of skilled
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
individuals with critical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and strong financial background will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
consequently
what ever the new society gains will be a loss
Possible spelling mistake found.
toold
society.

The basic character of human being is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his surroundings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with better safety and comfort. When the situation in the present location is not improving, he migrates to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which provides them.

The main reason for immigration is the lack of steps taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
both in terms of comfort for living or providing a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries neither the basic needs such as roads, water, electricity is
properly
maintained nor a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with clean air, water or soil is available.

Concluding, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure that both basic needs
are fulfilled
and are available in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everybody can afford it and a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is maintained
by introducing strict laws to curb pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the citizens being happy will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about moving to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
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IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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