Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Young people today more likely to give a time and effort improving the world than young people were at the past.

From my point of view, we must not compare two things with different situation typically about generation because there are a lot more changes from time to time. However, as a consequence of giving more time and effort by young people in the past than young people in today, there were so many invention and discoveries in the past. First off, it is not fairly to compare young generation in today and past. Nowadays, young people access to technology. Hence, they can achieve their goals with less struggle and time than young people in the past. Today young people can communicate and share their beliefs and ideas with each other from country by country without any difficulties. For instance, people can use social media like face book to share their ideas. In addition to the reason raised above, if something comes to mind, it would take more time and effort to take a first step. Then you can complete process easily. Like this case, young people in past started improving the world by conduct some researches and invent some basic things (printing press, wheel and…). If they did not invent printing press, so it was impossible to published mass of books and papers later. Though young people in the past have had vital role in improving the world, but this process is going to complete by young people in today. In brief, there are observations that demonstrate young people in the past had been active than young people in today. If past generation did not do some proceeding, today we should waste more time to draw conclusion about something. Therefore, young people in past not only did their best but also they helped future generation to complete science process easily.
From my point of view, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not compare two things with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation
typically
about generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a lot more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, as a consequence of giving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
invention and discoveries in the past.

First
off, it is not
fairly
to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access to technology.
Hence
, they can achieve their goals with less struggle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate and share their beliefs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with each other from country by country without any difficulties.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media like face book to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In addition
to the reason raised above, if something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind, it would take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort to take a
first
step. Then you can complete process
easily
. Like this case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
improving the world by conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches and invent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic things (printing press, wheel and…). If they did not invent printing press,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was impossible to published mass of books and papers later. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
have had vital role in improving the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this process is going to complete by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In brief
, there are observations that demonstrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had been active than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
generation did not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proceeding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we should waste more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to draw conclusion about something.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did their best
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
future generation to complete science process
easily
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Young people today more likely to give a time and effort improving the world than young people were at the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Young people today more likely to give a time and effort improving the world than young people were at the past.