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Imagine yourself a president for a year. How would you develop the country?

Imagine yourself a president for a year. How would you develop the country? 2bGmx
Taking a personal or a family responsibility upon shoulder is nothing compared to being a ruler of a country. Personally, if I got the chance to be a president, I would concentrate on two major issues. In the few coming lines, education and health improvements that I could do will be discussed. Firstly, building a generation that can lead a country to power requires a perfect learning process, and this can be achieved with professional teachers and suitable curriculum; teaching staffs who exist in schools should be trained on how to deal with technology in passing information to their students. For example, using virtual reality to make students interact with substances in science labs. This can make learning more active and will push their mind towards digesting the new topic quickly. In addition, the curriculum itself is also significant because the quantity is not as important as the quality of it. In other words, children need updated books that include recent lessons that connect them with the real world. Secondly, those future leaders will not be able to reach their goals without a developed health system. New hospitals with qualified work force should be close to everyone in the state, because if they do not have a healthy body, they will not have a creative mind which can make a civilization. For instance, developed countries such as Germany and Japan have built their successful economy through handling health and education both side by side and making the a priority. In conclusion, it would be an honour to contribute to my nation's progress and this would not be accomplished without a healthy mind and body.
Taking a personal or a family responsibility upon shoulder is nothing compared to being a ruler of a country.
Personally
, if I
got
the chance to be a president, I would concentrate on two major issues. In the few coming lines, education and health improvements that I could do will
be discussed
.

Firstly
, building a generation that can lead a country to power requires a perfect learning process, and this can
be achieved
with professional teachers and suitable curriculum; teaching staffs who exist in schools should
be trained
on how to deal with technology in passing information to their students.
For example
, using virtual reality to
make
students interact with substances in science labs. This can
make
learning more active and will push their mind towards digesting the new topic
quickly
.
In addition
, the curriculum itself is
also
significant
because
the quantity is not as
important
as the quality of it.
In other words
, children need updated books that include recent lessons that connect them with the real world.

Secondly
, those future leaders will not be able to reach their goals without a developed health system. New hospitals with qualified work force should be close to everyone in the state,
because
if they do not have a healthy body, they will not have a creative mind which can
make
a civilization.
For instance
,
developed countries
such as Germany and Japan have built their successful economy through handling health and education both side by side and making
the a
priority.

In conclusion
, it would be an
honour
to contribute to my nation's progress and this would not
be accomplished
without a healthy mind and body.
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IELTS essay Imagine yourself a president for a year. How would you develop the country?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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