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I'm going to talk bout department stores in my city

I'm going to talk bout department stores in my city 2RbmM
I'm going to talk bout department stores in my city. I will tell you about the place and how often I joined this store and what s special item having. I think it's a good location For my fellow citizens because The grand bazaar of Ahvaz is right in the centre of the city of Ahvaz and had a lot of car parks, it's about 4 miles up the road from where I live. though it's far away from my living place, I like to enjoy this shop anyway when I go I usually take my car because it s will be safe and save money. you can find everything about computers Both in hardware and software and sometimes it will be cheaper on websites but sometimes it's not cheaper but you can find new versions of hardware before adding on online shops, for instance, if you looking for good antivirus u can find the best one and cheaper on another place like Lioncamputer or the same else because there have a lot of purchasing agency. I enjoy the Grand bazaar about once a month some time it will be one per weak and mostly I just look around to know about the price and sometimes I will buy something and it is very special for me because sometimes you can find a new version of the hardware or software you want and cheaper at web site consciously I going to check price on this place before buy from shopping online.
I'm going to talk bout department stores in my city. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
this store and what s special item having.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
location For my fellow citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
The grand bazaar of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ahvaz
is right in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ahvaz
and had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
car parks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
about
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
4 miles
up the road from where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
far away from my living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, I like to enjoy this shop anyway when I go I
usually
take my car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it s will be safe and save money.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
everything about computers Both in hardware and software and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
it will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
on websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
new versions of hardware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
adding on online shops,
for instance
, if
Did you mean "you're looking", "you are looking", or "you were looking"?
you looking
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
antivirus u can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the best one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
on another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lioncamputer
or the same else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
purchasing agency.

I enjoy the Grand bazaar about once a month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time it will be one per weak and
mostly
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
look around to know about the price and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a new version of the hardware or software you want and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
at
Did you mean "website"?
web site
consciously
Did you mean "I'm going", "I am going", or "I was going"?
I going
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
price on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from shopping online.
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IELTS essay I'm going to talk bout department stores in my city

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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