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If you make one important change in a school that you attend what change would you make

If you make one important change in a school that you attend what change would you make m151L
Almost all of us spend our lifes in the schools. Starting from primary school, ı always have been dreamed about my university campus and life. But there is an important deficent in my school that it is lack of high quality library and the technological stuffs especially computer harnesses. We are living in the technology age today. Everything is under people’s hand and provide broad database including every piece of information on every subject. Universities’ first duty is that providing this information to their students. The more they give, the more students become competitive and qualified in their future especially in business sector. As a case in point, my university doesn’t have this kind of opportunity. If ı change something in my school, ı definitely construct a new one in the campus. Another thing is that generally all of the students study in the library. Some of them can’t afford to buy a computer or even don’t see in their lifes. At first ı will buy more computers or laptops, and ı will make them work all day long even at nights. Because our library is closed at 11 p. m. every day. The last thing is engendering the new rooms for conversing that the students can talk to eachother and they don’t have to hesitate to make noise. In our library, it is absolutely forbidden talking any time. However, many students resident in the dorms so they don’t have a chance like inviting the others or going out late from their dorms. There are strict rules in every dorm that nobody can call someone or go out after 10 o’clock at night. To sum up, taking these factors into consideration, as you see, it is not hard to reach the conclusion about my essential library change in both the construction and the rules. Sure that after doing all these innovations, my university’s students get their place in higher steps.
Almost all of us spend our
lifes
in the
schools
. Starting from primary
school
, ı always have
been dreamed
about my
university
campus and life.
But
there is an
important
deficent
in my
school
that it is lack of high quality library and the technological stuffs
especially
computer harnesses.

We are living in the technology age
today
. Everything is under
people
’s hand and provide broad database including every piece of information on every subject.
Universities’
first
duty is that providing this information to their
students
. The more they give, the more
students
become competitive and qualified in their future
especially
in business sector. As a case in point, my
university
doesn’t have this kind of opportunity. If ı
change
something in my
school
, ı definitely construct a new one in the campus.

Another thing is that
generally
all of the
students
study in the library.
Some
of them can’t afford to
buy
a computer or even don’t
see
in their
lifes
. At
first
ı will
buy
more computers or laptops, and ı will
make
them work all day long even at nights.
Because
our library
is closed
at 11 p. m. every day.

The last thing is engendering the new rooms for conversing that the
students
can talk to
eachother and
they don’t
have to
hesitate to
make
noise. In our library, it is
absolutely
forbidden talking any time.
However
,
many
students
resident in the dorms
so
they don’t have a chance like inviting the others or going out late from their dorms. There are strict
rules
in every dorm that nobody can call someone or go out after 10 o’clock at night.

To sum up, taking these factors into consideration, as you
see
, it is not
hard
to reach the conclusion about my essential library
change
in both the construction and the
rules
. Sure that after doing all these innovations, my
university’s
students
get
their place in higher steps.
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IELTS essay If you make one important change in a school that you attend what change would you make

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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