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If students are required to do one of the below as requirement for their final semester before their graduation, which of these two would you prefer?a. Complete a research project on a topic and write a paper on itb. Work as an intern in a company to gain

If students are required to do one of the below as requirement for their final semester before their graduation, which of these two would you prefer? a. Complete a research project on a topic and write a paper on itb. Work as an intern in a company to gain WyDQW
Since the dawn of time, any effort has been done so that people can make better as well as joyful lives. One of the paramount issues that have an earth-shaking effect on people's lives is the way in which people act while they are university students. There is a great number of stuff that students can do during their educational years in order to learn how to start their real life, beginning after graduation. Among which, courses that should be taken apart from their main courses are of great importance. In this regard, were I to suggest to students to give whether a writing project or being an intern in a company, I would definitely recommend them to choose the latter one. To begin with, no one can cast a shadow of a doubt on the fact that any educational endeavors are aimed at students better participate in their future careers. Universities as the rather final education contributors play an important role in this regard. Consistent with this view, if there happens a situation in which students do have the opportunity to work in a company, it will be great for their future work. In fact, they can be familiar with work environment behaviors, meaning that they can experience new aspects of real life and therefore they gradually can tear their life cocoon in which they have been lived there for a long time. On the contrary, if they do not have a work experience, it may be so hard for them to work after their graduating. This is because companies do not care about them because they have no experience, so a great number of them might be rejected by companies. Moreover, if they work in a company, its implications on their spirits will be undeniable. First of all, they can touch real life stresses like the cost problems for even one-minute delaying, meaning that they face some problems that few of them, if any, had experienced during their educational period. Therefore, by trying to cope these problems, they can improve their spirits which is really necessary for their lives. Secondly, being students, most of them were paid pocket money from their parents, however, if they work as an intern, they may be paid some money, interpreting that they gradually can learn and be independent which improves their spirits in an upper-level. In contrast, doing a project on a course tend to make no sense about their spirits while students need an upper-level spirit when they want to start their new lives. To sum up, with all this taken into account, I subscribe the idea that students should work in a company before their graduation as far as preparing them for their future life and improving their self-confidence is concerned. I hope one day students break some traditional beliefs about everybody should just study while they are students.
Since the dawn of time, any effort has
been done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
as well
as joyful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One of the paramount issues that have an earth-shaking effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is the way in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
act while they are university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
number of stuff that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can do during their educational years in order to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, beginning after graduation. Among which, courses that should
be taken
apart from their main courses are of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
importance. In this regard, were I to suggest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to give whether a writing project or being an intern in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, I would definitely recommend them to choose the latter one.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, no one can cast a shadow of a doubt on the fact that any educational endeavors
are aimed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
better participate in their future careers. Universities as the
rather
final education contributors play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this regard. Consistent with this view, if there happens a situation in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, it will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In fact, they can be familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment behaviors, meaning that they can experience new aspects of real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
therefore
they
gradually
can tear their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cocoon in which they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there for a long time.
On the contrary
, if they do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience, it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after their graduating. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not care about them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
number of them might
be rejected
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Moreover
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, its implications on their spirits will be undeniable.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they can touch real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
like the cost problems for even one-minute delaying, meaning that they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems that few of them, if any, had experienced during their educational period.
Therefore
, by trying to cope these problems, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their spirits which is
really
necessary for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, most of them
were paid
pocket money from their parents,
however
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as an intern, they may
be paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money, interpreting that they
gradually
can learn and be independent which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their spirits in
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an upper-level
.
In contrast
, doing a project on a course tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
no sense about their spirits while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need an upper-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spirit
when they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, with all this taken into account, I subscribe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their graduation as far as preparing them for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and improving their self-confidence
is concerned
. I hope
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "one-day"
one day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional beliefs about everybody should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
study while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay If students are required to do one of the below as requirement for their final semester before their graduation, which of these two would you prefer? a. Complete a research project on a topic and write a paper on itb. Work as an intern in a company to gain

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
479 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • If students are required to do one of the below as requirement for their final semester before their graduation, which of these two would you prefer?a. Complete a research project on a topic and write a paper on itb. Work as an intern in a company to gain