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electronic medical record storage

electronic medical record storage yXbWJ
The article discusses a fascinating topic pertaining to upsides of electronic databases to store medical information and provides three reasons of support. However, the professor explains that all claims regarding this method is uncertain and opposes each of the author's reasons. First, the reading passage mention that reducing cost is possible due to in electronic system, there is no need for space for paper record as well as no transferring effort. In contrary, the professor provides information that saving money is unrealistic. She states that even doctors who are adopt the computer, still use paper report in order for backup and legal requirement. Clearly, a disparity exists between the article and the evidence exhibited by the professor. As a result, we can safely assume that merits of electronic databases can be neglected to its demerits. Second, the reading pushes forth the idea that new technique lessens the chances of error owing to electronic system might interdict the errors the doctors make on paper. Nonetheless, the professor contends that, cannot diminish the mistakes. According to the professor, doctors take notes, write prescription and so on, afterward the information are entered to the system by assistant. If there are mistakes on paper, errors will already be in the system as well. Consequently, we can argue that indeed the claim made in the reading is unsubstantiated. Finally, the article posits that a vast number of patient's data may be utilized so as for aiding in research. The professor refutes this point by explaining that possibility is unlikely difficult and practical because there is so strict law that protects the patient record being used or collect without permission. We also learn that even a doctor intends to use, permission from the patient is necessitated as well as authority. In summary, while both the reading and the lecture provide interesting information with regard to both upside and downside of way of storage of electronic and traditional medical records, a significant amount of evidence support that the professor presented more legitimate and tangible grounds. Hence, the reading passage fails to justify the claim towards stand point of the professor.
The article discusses a fascinating topic pertaining to upsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
databases to store medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and provides three reasons of support.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that all claims regarding this method is uncertain and opposes each of the author's reasons.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage mention that reducing cost is possible due to in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, there is no need for space for paper record
as well
as no transferring effort. In contrary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that saving money is unrealistic. She states that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
who are
Consider using a past participle here: "adopted".
adopt
the computer,
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
paper report in order for backup and legal requirement.
Clearly
, a disparity exists between the article and the evidence exhibited by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
.
As a result
, we can
safely
assume that merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
databases can
be neglected
to its demerits.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
pushes forth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that new technique lessens the chances of error owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
might interdict the errors the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
on paper. Nonetheless, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
contends that, cannot diminish the mistakes. According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
take notes, write prescription and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, afterward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are entered
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
by assistant. If there are mistakes on paper, errors will already be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
as well
.
Consequently
, we can argue that
indeed
the claim made in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is unsubstantiated
.

Finally
, the article posits that a vast number of patient's data may
be utilized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as for aiding in research. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
refutes this point by explaining that possibility is unlikely difficult and practical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strict law that protects the patient record being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
or collect without permission. We
also
learn that even a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
intends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, permission from the patient
is necessitated
as well
as authority.

In summary, while both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and the lecture provide interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with regard to both upside and downside of way of storage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and traditional medical records, a significant amount of evidence support that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
presented more legitimate and tangible grounds.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage fails to justify the claim towards stand point of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
.
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IELTS essay electronic medical record storage

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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