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ielts essay as accommodation and transportation facilities are increasing industries are encouraged by government to settle in rural area.

ielts essay as accommodation and transportation facilities are increasing industries are encouraged by government to settle in rural area. 0MRQB
In this developing world, Government is persuading various industries to get settle down at countryside as result of overpopulation in city centre. According to my mind, advantages of this are outweigh than its disadvantages. First and foremost, it is intuitively obvious that, factories are prone to fatal incidents which risk lives of nearby public. For instance, fire accident in Bhopal factory cause death of 200 residents. Consequently, this fear will get reduced by shifting of companies to rural areas. Secondly, waste treatment can be done viably due to presence of large area and without affecting environment and people's health as these methods would be eco-friendly which are not possible in congested area of a town. Furthermore, it will also prevent downtown to get overcrowded by Providing more employment opportunities to village dwellers as they wouldn't have to move to cities in search of work to become financially stable. This decision will prove beneficial for plants themselves as it will reduce the transportation cost required to collect natural raw material from number of areas in underdeveloped places. Overall, it is a beneficial step taken by higher authorities to ask corporations to move to rural areas which is in favour of mankind, environment and proper development of nation.
In this developing world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
is persuading various industries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settle down at countryside as result of overpopulation in city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. According to my mind, advantages of this are
Consider using a past participle here: "outweighed".
outweigh
than its disadvantages.
First
and foremost, it is
intuitively
obvious that, factories are prone to fatal incidents which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of nearby public.
For instance
, fire accident in Bhopal factory cause death of 200 residents.
Consequently
, this fear will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by shifting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Secondly
, waste treatment can
be done
viably
due to presence of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and without affecting environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health as these methods would be eco-friendly which are not possible in congested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of a town.
Furthermore
, it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
downtown to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overcrowded by Providing more employment opportunities to village dwellers as they wouldn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to cities in search of work to become
financially
stable. This decision will prove beneficial for plants themselves as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the transportation cost required to collect natural raw material from number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in underdeveloped places.
Overall
, it is a beneficial step taken by higher authorities to ask corporations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which is in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of mankind, environment and proper development of nation.
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IELTS essay ielts essay as accommodation and transportation facilities are increasing industries are encouraged by government to settle in rural area.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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