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I would say values and sacraments can improve the way we look at an ideal society. There should be peace among the nations so that every individual feel safe on this earth. Wed Dec 09 2020

I would say values and sacraments can improve the way we look at an ideal society. There should be peace among the nations so that every individual feel safe on this earth. Wed Dec 09 2020 e5Ae7
From ancient times, people have imagined inhabiting in a perfect society, but the perfect definition of society has not been fixed yet. I think the most important element required in creating a society is values given to the individuals by their ancestors. These elements can be achieved with the sacraments inhibited to the people since their birth. Firstly, if we talk about the evolution of human beings, the man started living in groups since early times and that evolved into the people we are today. For instance, people used to live in the tribes in the era of the medieval period and they taught values to their children which passed on to next generations. Secondly, the competency came with the experience which resulted in today’s civilization. Finally, The sacraments given by the ancestors is one of the most important elements which shows the outlook of any community. Moreover, an ideal society is where there is peace everywhere. One of the major concern of this global economy is wars. Many nations fight to merge or accumulate the maximum area into their country. They want to show power to other societies to keep themselves on the top worldwide. From ancient times, people have imagined inhabiting in a perfect society, but the perfect definition of society has not been fixed yet. I think the most important element required in creating a society is values given to the individuals by their ancestors.
From ancient times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have imagined inhabiting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
yet
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
element
required in creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the individuals by their ancestors. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
can
be achieved
with the sacraments inhibited to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since their birth.

Firstly
, if we talk about the evolution of human beings, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living in groups since early times and that evolved into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the tribes in the era of the medieval
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
period and
they taught values to their children which passed on to
next
generations.
Secondly
, the competency came with the experience which resulted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s civilization.
Finally
, The sacraments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the ancestors is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the outlook of any community.

Moreover
, an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is where there is peace everywhere. One of the major concern of this global economy is wars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations fight to merge or accumulate the maximum area into their country. They want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
power to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves on the top worldwide. From ancient times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have imagined inhabiting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
yet
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
element
required in creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the individuals by their ancestors.
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IELTS essay I would say values and sacraments can improve the way we look at an ideal society. There should be peace among the nations so that every individual feel safe on this earth. Wed Dec 09 2020

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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