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I made a difference when...

I made a difference when... 70YO3
I made a difference when I stopped hiking the foothills of the Appalachians just for fun and started maintaining the trails. When I saw my favorite trails degrade from increased attendance during the pandemic and increasingly frequent and severe storms and precipitation, I knew that I needed to do my part to maintain the trails. In clearing overgrowth and addressing physical degradation, I have built and maintained routes that serve both the mountain and its hikers. The trails have taught me great lessons on how to improve existing paths to ensure a more sustainable future.
I made a difference when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
hiking the foothills of the Appalachians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trails
. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trails
degrade from increased attendance during the pandemic and
increasingly
frequent and severe storms and precipitation, I knew that I needed to do my part to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trails
. In clearing overgrowth and addressing physical degradation, I have built and maintained routes that serve both the mountain and its hikers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trails
have taught me great lessons on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
existing paths to ensure a more sustainable future.
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IELTS essay I made a difference when...

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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