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I am Kano Komabashiri in Fukuoka.

I am Kano Komabashiri in Fukuoka. DlgRm
I think that I can see a lot of advertising everywhere recently. For example, on TV, there are various thing’s advertisement in commercial. Also, a lot of poster are posted all over the town and a lot of flyer are distributed here and there. First, I think about that advertising is successful at persuading us to buy thing. I think the thinking has a point. Certainly, a lot of famous people advertise many different thing on TV, newspaper, flyer and magazine. They are comedian, acter, musician and athlete and so on. For instance, when my favorite entertainer advertise something, I would like to buy them. Also, if I don’t know whether to buy something, because of the advertisement, I may that thing. From such a point, I think that advertising has large effect for desire of a lot of consumer. Next, I think about that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention. In our daily life, we have no day not to see the advertising. Advertising is a familiar existence for us. In actual fact, I sometimes see same advertising many times in a day. If that’s the case, I lose interest for the things on the advertisement. I get used to the advertising. Then, If I can see the advertisement somewhere, I don’t think want to buy anything. As a result from these things, I think that the advertisement has large influence for people who buy the things.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advertising everywhere recently.
For example
, on TV, there are various
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "things"?
thing
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in commercial.
Also
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of poster
are posted
all over the town and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of flyer
are distributed
here and there.

First
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about that advertising is successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
thing. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the thinking has a point.
Certainly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing on TV, newspaper, flyer and magazine. They are comedian,
Possible spelling mistake found.
acter
, musician and athlete and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, when my favorite entertainer advertise something, I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them.
Also
, if I don’t know whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, I may that thing.

From such a point, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising has large effect for desire of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of consumer.

Next
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention. In our daily life, we have no day not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advertising. Advertising is a familiar existence for us.

In actual fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
same advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times in a day. If that’s the case, I lose interest for the things on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the advertising. Then, If I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
somewhere, I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything.

As a result
from these things, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has large influence for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the things.
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IELTS essay I am Kano Komabashiri in Fukuoka.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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