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Human life existence on the earth

Human life existence on the earth oqWK
In day to day life i can only say that we are becoming more emotional and selfish by giving unnecessary time to other persons even those who do not look back at us. And it says that to lead a solo life to know better about you and your existence on the earth. However, the huma has only one life and after these we can not say that we will take another birth are not. According to hindhu mythology it says that the human who made sin might go hevan and tho who made positive things will go to hell.
In day to day life
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i
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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say
that we are becoming more emotional and selfish by giving unnecessary time to other persons even those who do not look back at us. And it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
that to lead a solo life to know better about you and your existence on the earth.
However
, the
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huma
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one life and after these we can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
that we will take another birth are not.

According to
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindhu
mythology it
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says
that the human who made sin might go
Possible spelling mistake found.
hevan
and tho who made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things will go to hell.

IELTS essay Human life existence on the earth

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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