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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Human activity is making the earth a worse place to live.

Human activity is making the earth a worse place to live. o8xjg
The world is changing at a rapid pace nowadays due to the actions of human populations. I am of the opinion that humanity has had a mostly negative effect on the planet. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, industrial development has caused major air pollution, which has a terrible effect on our health. Every week we can hear news reports about how horrible air quality is in major cities all over the world. Additionally, it is often reported that chronic lung diseases are on the rise and that there is a connection between these two trends. I am reminded of the years I spent living in Beijing, which is home to many massive factories. After having spent most of my life living in the Canadian countryside where the air is mostly clean, I immediately noticed the smog and pollution of urban China. Within months I began suffering from a variety of respiratory illnesses and had difficulty breathing. As a result, I spent quite a few afternoons at a local hospital being treated for various throat and lung infections. A majority of the population of the Earth now resides in cities, and they often suffer from similar consequences of industrial development. Secondly, human development has led to a massive accumulation of trash, which spoils the natural beauty of the planet. While in the past products were often made of biodegradable materials like paper and wood, today most manufactured goods are made of plastic that never breaks down. Such materials sometimes find their way into permanent landfills, but often they just end up as litter. When I traveled to the island of Borneo last summer I was impressed by the beauty of the place, but I also noticed that the natural environment was marred by an accumulation of plastic bags and water bottles that were strewn everywhere. Had I visited the island a century ago I would not have found it tainted in such a way. In conclusion, I strongly believe that human activity has made the planet a less pleasant place to live. This is because people are more likely to suffer from the effects of pollution than in the past, and because humans create garbage which has destroyed the natural beauty of our world.
The world is changing at a rapid pace nowadays due to the actions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
populations. I am of the opinion that humanity has had a
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the planet. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, industrial development has caused major air pollution, which has a terrible effect on our health. Every week we can hear news reports about how horrible air quality is in major cities all over the world.
Additionally
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
reported that chronic lung diseases are on the rise and that there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
these two trends. I
am reminded
of the years I spent living in Beijing, which is home to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
massive factories. After having spent most of my life living in the Canadian countryside where the air is
mostly
clean, I immediately noticed the smog and pollution of urban China. Within
The comma is probably missing here: "months, I".
months I
began suffering from a variety of respiratory illnesses and had difficulty breathing.
As a result
, I spent quite a few afternoons at a local hospital
being treated
for various throat and lung infections. A majority of the population of the Earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
resides in cities, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
suffer from similar consequences of industrial development.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
development has led to a massive accumulation of trash, which spoils the natural beauty of the planet. While in the past products were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
made of biodegradable materials like paper and wood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are made
of plastic that never breaks down. Such materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
find their way into permanent landfills,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up as litter. When I traveled to the island of Borneo last summer I
was impressed
by the beauty of the place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
noticed that the natural environment
was marred
by an accumulation of plastic bags and water bottles that were strewn everywhere. Had I visited the island a century ago I would not have found it tainted in such a way.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity has made the planet a less pleasant place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to suffer from the effects of pollution than in the past, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
create garbage which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the natural beauty of our world.
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IELTS essay Human activity is making the earth a worse place to live.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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