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Sports are essential part in our life. Nowadays, many types of games showing on the television. They are lots of sports channel watching everyday. They providing a motivation for doing exercise each day and fit the body. I strongly agree with this statement. Firstly, I believe that Olympics games are crucial part in sporting area. Here different different countries people can take part in every year and encourage the people to participate in own interested game. For example, In last year, plethora of pupils were participating in sport and won lots of medals such as gold, silver and bronze. They were influenced the people took participated and fit the body. Now, comparison in last year, number are gradually increased its means most of general people like these types of activities. Furthermore, exercising gives a energy and prevent many types of diseases. Exercise is important for our health. For example, these days, health related issues are increased like obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and others. These are touch on the ninth sky. Everyone recommended do physical exercise instead of playing games on computers. This is a good way to involved in the sports team and increasing a confidence. At this time, exercise are more important than other things. Now individuals are health conscious and take care for their health. In conclusion, according to my view, its compulsory to do exercise daily and fit the body as compared to watching a television. Seeing a sports programs and supports to self and others to take part in the games.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in our life. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
showing on the television. They are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
channel watching
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Did you mean "They're providing", "They are providing", or "They were providing"?
They providing
a motivation for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
each day and fit the body. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
Firstly
, I believe that Olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in sporting area. Here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in every year and encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interested game.
For example
, In last year, plethora of pupils were participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and won lots of medals such as gold, silver and bronze. They
were influenced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
took participated and fit the body.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, comparison in last year, number are
gradually
increased its means
Consider using "most general" or "most of the general".
most of general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like these types of activities.
Furthermore
, exercising gives
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues
are increased
like obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. These are touch on the ninth sky. Everyone recommended do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
instead
of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computers. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
team and increasing a confidence. At this time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than other things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
individuals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conscious and take care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In conclusion
, according to my view, its compulsory to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
daily and fit the body as compared to watching a television. Seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
programs and supports to self
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay https: //ielts69. com/essay/television-sporting-shows-such-as-the-olympics-motivate-the-youth-who-do-not-like-to-exercise-much-5

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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