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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? GMMnL
Humankind has undeniably progressed tremendously and the current era is enriched with myriad innovations such as computers, tablets, mobile phones and playstations. How ever, Children having access to these technological gadgets spend their valuable time in playing video games. Although, playing video games is safe but they bring numerous disadvantages. On the one hand, in this contemporary era modern appliances play an indispensable role in the gaming industry. To elaborate, during corona pandemic time many adolescents enjoyed their time playing video games at home by obeying the quarantine rules. As a result, gaming help people to overcome stress and depression. Present video games are designed with sophisticated technology and advanced graphics which entertain and provide knowledge to juveniles. Hence, there is no doubt that computer gaming play a significant and massive role in enhancing children mental horizon. On the other hand, it is perceptible that computers and video games put on adverse impact on health of teenagers. It is scientifically proven that, spending too much time on playing video games can result in weakening eyesight. As well as, by continuously playing will unable a child to devote time on education and other activities thus it will result in psychological disorder. Therefore, excess computer gaming can have certain repercussions. In conclusion, I would like to assert that although video games can have certain brighter aspects, yet their disadvantages on physical and mental well- being should not be overlooked.
Humankind has
undeniably
progressed
tremendously
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era
is enriched
with myriad innovations such as computers, tablets, mobile phones and
Possible spelling mistake found.
playstations
.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
, Children having access to these technological gadgets spend their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they bring numerous disadvantages.

On the one hand, in this contemporary era modern appliances play an indispensable role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
industry. To elaborate, during corona pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents enjoyed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at home by obeying the quarantine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression. Present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are designed
with sophisticated technology and advanced graphics which entertain and provide knowledge to juveniles.
Hence
, there is no doubt that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
play a significant and massive role in enhancing children mental horizon.

On the other hand
, it is perceptible that computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
put on adverse impact on health of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It is
scientifically
proven that, spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can result in weakening eyesight.
As well
as, by
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
Did you mean "will be unable"?
will unable
a child to devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on education and other activities
thus
it will result in psychological disorder.
Therefore
, excess computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
can have certain repercussions.

In conclusion
, I would like to assert that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can have certain brighter aspects,
yet
their disadvantages on physical and mental well- being should not
be overlooked
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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