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http: //testbig. com/toefl-speaking/toefl-integrated-speaking-question-3-explain-why-woman-disagrees-reasons-expressed v.1

http: //testbig. com/toefl-speaking/toefl-integrated-speaking-question-3-explain-why-woman-disagrees-reasons-expressed v. 1
There is no iota of doubt that, More and more parents are relying on computers and laptops to make their children learn new things. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to the children. However, a couple of problems emerge due to the same. The following paragraph's would cast light on the pros and cons of using technology for learning. To begin with the bright side, the advantages of using tablets and smartphones. The main positive is that it supports social interaction and enhances communication skills. In other words, children can easily connect with their families and friends. Moreover, due to their advanced features, compact devices like mobile phones have become more than just a calling device. They can be used for entertainment and learning as well. Children get the chance to learn through various educational applications. Furthermore, playing games on smartphones, increases their mental stimulation and concentration. On the flip side of the coin, there are some handful of nasty consequences as well, Firstly, excessive use of electronic devices makes children devoid of physical activity. It not only hampers their personal growth, but also physical development. Another issue is that, children prefer isolation and become addicted to these devices. As a result, it adversely affects their interpersonal as well as social skills. In addition to this there is growing evidence that it can also have negative health impacts. Research reported in the media claims that it can possibly damage the eyes of a child when looking at screens for long periods. Studies also indicate children using these devices may have more difficulty sleeping, something which is crucial for mental development. In conclusion, I personally believe that, the drawbacks of allowing children to use computers and tablets outweigh the benefits. While it may give parents more time, it could damage their mental and physical development. Therefore, effort should be made to minimize the latter one.
There is no iota of doubt that, More and more parents are relying on computers and laptops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn new things. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, a couple of problems
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "emerges"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'emerge' is not always incorrect.)
emerge
due to the same. The following paragraph's would cast light on the pros and cons of using technology for learning.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the bright side, the advantages of using tablets and smartphones. The main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
is that it supports social interaction and enhances communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
connect with their families and friends.
Moreover
, due to their advanced features, compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
like mobile phones have become more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a calling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
. They can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertainment and learning
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to learn through various educational applications.
Furthermore
, playing games on smartphones, increases their mental stimulation and concentration.

On the flip side of the coin, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of nasty consequences
as well
,
Firstly
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
devoid of physical activity. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hampers their personal growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
physical development. Another issue is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer isolation and become addicted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
As a result
, it
adversely
affects their interpersonal
as well
as social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In addition
to this there is growing evidence that it can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
health impacts. Research reported in the media claims that it can
possibly
damage the eyes of a child when looking at screens for long periods. Studies
also
indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
may have more difficulty sleeping, something which is crucial for mental development.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that, the drawbacks of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers and tablets outweigh the benefits. While it may give parents more time, it could damage their mental and physical development.
Therefore
, effort should
be made
to minimize the latter one.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay http: //testbig. com/toefl-speaking/toefl-integrated-speaking-question-3-explain-why-woman-disagrees-reasons-expressed v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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