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How West Park Secondary School have been changing

How West Park Secondary School have been changing J9ee
We can see three different images that shows how West Park Secondray School has been changing through the years. The first image is from 1950. Back then, the school was clearly small. The playground behind it was even bigger than the school. At the left side of the school there were some houses with a farmland next to them. In 1980 the school changed drastically. Now, where the houses were situated, a science block was placed and a small car park was considered mainly for teachers. The playground didn’t changed through those 30 years, but the farmland was replaced by a sports field for children to practice some soccer. As we can see, now the school covers the whole block in front of the main road. Finally, in 2010, the school experienced again some dramatic changes. The most important of these changes was regarding the car park. It had to be extended, so now the playground and the sports field are smaller than ever before. Now, the car park covers about a half of the whole block. We can notice how the school is totally different than 50 years ago, and these changes occur mainly because the students population has increased and their necessities have been changing through the years.
We can
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see
three
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different
images that
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shows
how West
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Park
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondray
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School
has been changing through the years.

The
first
image is from 1950. Back then, the
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school
was
clearly
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small
. The playground behind it was even bigger than the
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school
. At the
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left
side of the
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school
there were
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some
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houses
with a farmland
next
to them.

In 1980 the
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school
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changed
drastically
.
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Now
, where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were situated
, a science block
was placed
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was considered
mainly
for teachers. The playground didn’t
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "change"
changed
through those 30 years,
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but
the farmland
was replaced
by a sports field for children to practice
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some
soccer. As we can
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see
,
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now
the
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school
covers the whole block in front of the main road.

Finally
, in 2010, the
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school
experienced again
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some
dramatic
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changes
. The most
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important
of these
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changes
was regarding the car
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park
. It had to
be extended
,
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so
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now
the playground and the sports field are smaller than ever
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before
.
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Now
, the car
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park
covers about a half of the whole block.

We can notice how the
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school
is
totally
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different
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than
50 years ago, and these
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changes
occur
mainly
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because
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
population has increased and their necessities have been changing through the years.
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IELTS essay How West Park Secondary School have been changing

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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