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How we can through the ages?

How we can through the ages? RV2MP
The amount of what you achieve are crucially dependent on how effectively you manage your time. Therefore, one example that springs to my mind, these days many people spend time surfing social networking sites. Subsequently, you must know that how much time you spent in activities where you had to actively meet and socialize with other. However, some people are inclined to agree with this point of view that all sociable people must be in time or on time. Nevertheless, if people don’t arrive on the right time, it can be take each other time. Even though, regarding the dark side I should mention that the number of adolescents that waste their time be raised. In conclusion, the period time that we have it in their lifetime it can be sparkling or charming for them. Consequently, science does support some amount of time bending.
The amount of what you achieve are
crucially
dependent on how
effectively
you manage your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, one example that springs to my mind, these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
surfing social networking sites.
Subsequently
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you spent in activities where you had to
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and socialize with other.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view that all sociable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Nevertheless
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
The usual proposition after "arrive" is "at" not "on". Did you mean "arrive at"?
arrive on
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it can be
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
take
each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Even though
, regarding the dark side I should mention that the number of adolescents that waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
be raised
.
In conclusion
, the period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we have it in their lifetime it can be sparkling or charming for them.
Consequently
, science does support
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
bending.
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IELTS essay How we can through the ages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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