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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? Q5wVy
Nowadays, tourism has become one of the most important activities in economically developing nations. The aim of this essay is to investigate the welcome merits of this idea as well as the unwelcome ones. Admittedly, there are several benefits associated with this matter. Firstly, tourism makes a significant contribution to the preservation of the uniqueness of the local culture and history heritage. In order to attract tourists, third-world countries regularly organize various festivals annually. For example, Hue Festival in Vietnam, Songkran Festival in Thailand, Rio Carnival festival in Brazil draw millions of visitors on a yearly basis. That, in turn, promotes the country’s customs and cultural traditions with people around the world. Secondly, a well-developed tourism industry brings more economic value to the host country. When foreign travelers pay money for services, accommodation, and food, thus generating tremendous revenues and creating numerous businesses and jobs for the local people drive the nation towards prosperity. Vietnam's tourism is the best example when it is a fundamental pillar of the nation's economic development, contributing six percent to Vietnam's GDP. In spite of these positive effects, this trend has brought problems as well. The tourism industry wreaks havoc on the vulnerable environment. There are high demands for road transportation, extravagant resorts, and recreational facilities due to an influx of visitors, leading to soil erosion, natural habitat loss, more pressure on endangered species, and ecosystem degradation. The expansion of the tourism industry poses threats to local traditions and public health. Hospitality jobs can destroy traditional jobs and skills (e. g farming, fishing, handicrafts) since local people are forced to work for hotels, restaurants, theme parks, and department stores. Additionally, epidemic diseases such as SARS, MERS, or Coronavirus infection can also spread faster because of the rising influx of holidaymakers. In conclusion, this development shows effects on both sides whether it is positive or negative. However, it seems to me that the benefit eclipses its obvious shortcomings.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities in
economically
developing nations. The aim of this essay is to investigate the welcome merits of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as well
as the unwelcome ones.

Admittedly
, there are several benefits associated with this matter.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a significant contribution to the preservation of the uniqueness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture and history heritage. In order to attract tourists, third-world countries
regularly
organize various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
annually
.
For example
, Hue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
in Vietnam,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Songkran
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
in Thailand, Rio Carnival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
in Brazil draw millions of visitors on a yearly basis. That, in turn, promotes the country’s customs and cultural traditions with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world.
Secondly
, a well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry brings more economic value to the host country. When foreign travelers pay money for services, accommodation, and food,
thus
generating tremendous revenues and creating numerous businesses and jobs for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drive the nation towards prosperity. Vietnam's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the best example when it is a fundamental pillar of the nation's economic development, contributing six percent to Vietnam's GDP.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, this trend has brought problems
as well
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry wreaks havoc on the vulnerable environment. There are high demands for road transportation, extravagant resorts, and recreational facilities due to an influx of visitors, leading to soil erosion, natural habitat loss, more pressure on endangered species, and ecosystem degradation. The expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry poses threats to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions and public health. Hospitality jobs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
traditional jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
(e. g farming, fishing, handicrafts) since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to work for hotels, restaurants, theme parks, and department stores.
Additionally
, epidemic diseases such as SARS, MERS, or Coronavirus infection can
also
spread faster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rising influx of holidaymakers.

In conclusion
, this development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
effects on both sides whether it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
However
, it seems to me that the benefit eclipses its obvious shortcomings.
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IELTS essay Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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