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How to control childrent

How to control childrent m1Pgd

A number of remedies can be done to tackle this problem. First and foremost, parent needa balance way works or family to be able to take better care of their children. It is acknowledged that work is vital; However, they also need to keep the last goal in their mind which is a happy family with good children. Reality, well attended kids will find happiness in the protection and love from their family rather than being temped from outside. This, will preven teenagers from bad actions, or worse, illegal acts. In addition, psychologist hold the view that the best way to educate their children is to teach them recognize the true values of life, rather than enjoy life. Instead of spend money at their’s direction to enjoy social conveniences, it is suggest that parents should teach them how to manage money and spend a reasonable way

A number of remedies can be done
 to tackle this problem. First
 and foremost, parent Possible spelling mistake found.needneedsneedyNeldaneednneed a
needa
 balance way works or family to be able to take better care of their children. It is acknowledged
 that work is vital; However
, they also
 need to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 the last goal in their mind which is a happy family with This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 children. Reality, well attended kids will find happiness in the protection and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :admireadore
love
 from their family rather
 than being temped
 from outside. This, will Possible spelling mistake found.preventprovenpreenpr even
preven
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
 from This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
bad
 actions, or worse, illegal acts. In addition
, psychologist hold the view that the best way to educate their children is to teach them recognize the true values of life, rather
 than enjoy life. Instead
 of spend money at Did you mean "their" or "theirs"?theirtheirs
their’s
 direction to enjoy social conveniences, it is Consider using a past participle here: "suggested".suggested
suggest
 that parents should teach them how to manage money and spend a reasonable Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphway.way!way?way:way,way;
way

IELTS essay How to control childrent

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

145 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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