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How our character affects our life?

How our character affects our life? lLJ2o
Our reactions to difficulties, treatments to others, even our thoughts affects our personality. Character is the one of things what makes people unique. In my opinion, maybe we have some genetic characters, but most of them arise with influence of environment. We observe our family members’ and friends’ behavior from childhood and we try to learn good and bad acts. In any situation, if we don’t know how we have to behave, firstly we think about how our friends treat at that moment and we try to behave like them. These types of cases affect our personality. Children who spend more time with good people will have more good behaviors in the future. Being generous, honest, cheerful, polite, thoughtful, etc. are good treatments. Having good personality helps us to finding a job, building a relationship, etc. Even I think that our behavior affects our work. For example, if you are cheerful, patient, polite receptionist, you’ll have more feedback from people who apply your company. If you are a hardworking person, you’ll reach all of your aims and it’ll make you happy. Being successful, building relationships, even sometimes finding good job is hard to people who have a bad personality. For example, some people are reckless. They never think what is the result of their treatments. Such people usually break the heart of others and as a result they alienate them. Rude people treats impolite to other people and never say ‘excuse me’, ‘thank you’ or ‘please’. Some are arrogant. They always think that they are better than other people. It annoys others. And some people are mean. Mean people treat so bad to everyone, even to animals. They push people who are weak than them, kick or hit animals. Therefore good and bad characters affect our life including our study, goals, friends, family and work. I think if we want children to build good relationships and career in the future, we should teach them good treatments. Because if you ask me this is so hard to overcome bad qualities later.
Our reactions to difficulties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
to others, even our thoughts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
our personality. Character is the one of things what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unique. In my opinion, maybe we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
genetic characters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them arise with influence of environment. We observe our family members’ and friends’ behavior from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
childhood and
we try to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
acts. In any situation, if we don’t know how we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
behave,
firstly
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about how our friends treat at that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
moment and
we try to behave like them. These types of cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
our personality.

Children
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who
spend more time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behaviors in the future. Being generous, honest, cheerful, polite, thoughtful, etc. are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to finding a job, building a relationship, etc. Even I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that our behavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
our work.
For example
, if you are cheerful, patient, polite receptionist, you’ll have more feedback from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
apply your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. If you are a hardworking person, you’ll reach all of your aims and it’ll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happy.

Being successful, building relationships, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
personality.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckless. They never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
what is the result of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
break the heart of others and
as a result
they alienate them. Rude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
treats
impolite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and never say ‘excuse me’, ‘thank you’ or ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
’.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are arrogant. They always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It annoys others. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are mean. Mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
to everyone, even to animals. They push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Use "weaker" to make a comparison with this adjective.
weak
than them, kick or hit animals.

Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
characters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
our life including our study, goals, friends, family and work. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if we want children to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationships and career in the future, we should teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
if you ask me this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
qualities later.
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IELTS essay How our character affects our life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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