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how is success measured? what makes a successful person? do you think wealth is the best measure of success?

how is success measured? what makes a successful person? do you think wealth is the best measure of success? 65Ql
Living in life, all of the people usually have many desires. In fact, everyone has a same thinking that we want to be successful. Many people with dissimilar views about what success is computed and mandatory of them believe that prosperity is about achievement. There are more important factors that affect on the successful way. In my opinion, not only wealth is measured for success, but it also has others elements such as health, good relationships between family members. Having a healthy body will speed up the process of success. If you have lots of money but your body and mind are weak, you will not be efficient at the job and end up as a failure. Human must find time to exercise and eating healthy food, this can remove toxins from body and release a lot of stress. For instance, almost famous persons always do exercises, this helps them be more productive at their work and as a result more successful. Definitely, living with a healthy lifestyle adds the most towards a person's success factor. Family is a place to lean on about mental. Although money can afford all the materials, it can not ensure the peace of mind and love between family members. While being exhausted to earn more money, persons in a family can overlook the fact that they never get enough time for spending time with each other. That make us feel lonely, stress comes in mind and decrease the successful ability. Scientists said that children in a good family will be easy get achievable, whereas, children in divorce or toxic family will get mental sick and difficult to achieve. In conclusion, wealth is not the best measure to success because a successful person leads a happy and healthy life. Successful person in not only victory with materials that we can see, but they are also success in their mind.
Living in life,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
desires. In fact, everyone has a same thinking that we want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with dissimilar views about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is computed
and mandatory of them believe that prosperity is about achievement. There are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
way.

In my opinion, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealth
is measured
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has others elements such as health,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. If you have lots of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your body and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
are weak, you will not be efficient
In English, people don't say "at the job". They say, 'on the job' or 'at work'. Did you mean "on the job" or "at work"?
at the job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up as a failure. Human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find time to exercise and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food, this can remove toxins from body and release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, almost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
always do exercises, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them be more productive at their work and
as a result
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. Definitely, living with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
the most towards a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
factor.

Family is a place to lean on about mental. Although money can afford all the materials, it can not ensure the peace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. While
being exhausted
to earn more money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can overlook the fact that they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for spending time with each other. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel lonely,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
ability. Scientists said that children in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will be easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievable, whereas, children in divorce or toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mental sick and difficult to achieve.

In conclusion
, wealth is not the best measure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
leads a happy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
victory with materials that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
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IELTS essay how is success measured? what makes a successful person? do you think wealth is the best measure of success?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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