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How have your experiences at school influenced your socialization?

How have your experiences at school influenced your socialization? L38lp
Growing up in this modern era, there are several social groups that will affect your socialization: family, school, peer group, media and so much more. However, I believe that school plays an important role on influence our socialization and what we have experienced at school may decide how we behave. School is known as the second set where young people spend most of their time learning and experiencing new things. That’s why most of the life skills people learn are from school. At school, students need to be independent to achieve their own goals as there are many other students in the same class. If they ever fail in any class, that might be the motivation for them to continue to stand up and strive. Moreover, students will meet new friends and teachers after a school year, so it’s important for them to know how to adapt to different circumstances. They may learn how to self-control after a fight during a conversation, learn how to rebut to a wrong statement, learn how to participate with their teams after failing in a teamwork project. To sum up,
Growing up in this modern era, there are several social groups that will affect your socialization: family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, peer group, media and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on influence our socialization and what we have experienced at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may decide how we behave.

School
is known
as the second set where young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend most of their time learning and experiencing new things. That’s why most of the life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, students need to be independent to achieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goals as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other students in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. If they ever fail in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, that might be the motivation for them to continue to stand up and strive.
Moreover
, students will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends and teachers after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to know how to adapt to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances. They may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to self-control after a fight during a conversation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to rebut to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
statement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to participate with their teams after failing in a teamwork project.

To sum up,
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IELTS essay How have your experiences at school influenced your socialization?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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