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How does Jason Kim change after he moves from St. Louis to New York City?

How does Jason Kim change after he moves from St. Louis to New York City? 2aObA
Asian discrimination is a serious problem! The author of this book is the victim of this serious problem. Therefore, he decided to choose the title of this book called: " Hello My Name is ___". That title represents what he felt the entire time in his childhood. The story is about an original Korean, who went to the USA at the age of sixteen. His name is Jun Hyuk. The first time met the new world in the USA, he saw that his classmate was completely different from him. The entire time that he lived in St. Louis, he always felt left apart from people. He is disappointed because he's Korean and even changed his name from Jun Hyuk to Jason Kim because his classmate looks at him as a stranger, different from the rest of the class. Therefore, he learned how to hate Asians and act as a local American, and try not to admitted Korean culture. He changes a lot in basic daily life such as: '' Eating fast food, speaking fluent English, . . . ". Since he decided to live in New York, his life became greater, he felt welcome at all times. People are curious about his daily life because he's an immigrant. He always felt he was special because people were always searching and exploring him. He says: "I began receiving emails, tweets, and Facebook messages from young Asian American writers, actors, and performers, who were excited to see a fellow Asian face on TV. "Many young Asian Americans are very interested in him because he's an Asian. He is completely Korean. For some reason, people might realize his potential ability. People felt the same sense of connection with him. People gradually contacted and reached out to him for inviting him and giving him opportunities for work. On the other hand, during adulthood, he taught people about his own story, and much sorrow and cherish passed him by. At the moment, when he’s weak regrets what he did at a young age. He says: ” Keep your name. You don't have to change a thing. "He meant by saying that is propaganda to those people who want to change their name because the name is what your parents hope you to be. Additionally, deep inside your name may have something very special that's created your personality. The name makes you special, you just need to keep it yourself. ‘’No change, no prejudice, no embarrassment. " Specifically, this story mainly talking about: " Asian discrimination, prejudice, denied reality, . . . ". He says: ‘’At one point during my 20s, I took a long, dramatic look in the mirror and realized, You will be Korean for the rest of your life. As a teenager growing up in the Midwest, that thought made me cringe. ’’ Now, it makes me happy and deeply proud”. Although your identity may be different but it doesn’t mean that you are not special. You may not know your specialty now but you may get it later when you grow up you will have more real experience and deeply know who you are. Otherwise, respect what you've done for now and find out what you will be in the future.
Asian discrimination is a serious problem! The author of this book is the victim of this serious problem.
Therefore
, he decided to choose the title of this book called:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Hello My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Name
is ___
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. That title represents what he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in his childhood. The story is about an original Korean,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to the USA at the age of sixteen. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
is Jun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyuk
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
met the new world in the USA, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that his classmate was completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from him. The entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in St. Louis, he always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. He
is disappointed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he's Korean and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
from Jun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyuk
to Jason Kim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his classmate looks at him as a stranger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Therefore
, he learned how to hate Asians and act as a local American, and try not to
Did you mean "admit"?
admitted
Korean culture. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
a lot in basic daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as: '' Eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, speaking fluent English
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
.

Since he decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in New York, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
became greater, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
welcome at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are curious about his daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he's an immigrant. He always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were always searching and exploring him. He says:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I began receiving emails, tweets, and Facebook messages from young Asian American writers, actors, and performers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were excited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a fellow Asian face on TV.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young Asian Americans are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he's an Asian. He is completely Korean. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might realize his potential ability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
the same sense of connection with him.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
gradually
contacted and reached out to him for inviting him and giving him opportunities for work.
On the other hand
, during adulthood, he taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
story, and much sorrow and cherish passed him by. At the moment, when he’s weak regrets what he did at a young age. He says:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
. You don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
a thing.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
He meant by saying
that is
propaganda to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
is what your parents hope you to be.
Additionally
, deep inside your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
may have something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
that's created your personality. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it yourself. ‘’No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, no prejudice, no embarrassment.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"


Specifically
, this story
mainly
talking about:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Asian discrimination, prejudice, denied reality
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. He says: ‘’At one point during my 20s, I took a long, dramatic look in the mirror and realized, You will be Korean for the rest of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
growing up in the Midwest, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
made me cringe. ’’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me happy and
deeply
proud”. Although your identity may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t mean that you are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
. You may not know your specialty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it later when you grow up you will have more real experience and
deeply
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
you are.

Otherwise
, respect what you've done for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and find out what you will be in the future.
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IELTS essay How does Jason Kim change after he moves from St. Louis to New York City?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
539 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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