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How do you think the future world is going to be?

How do you think the future world is going to be? q6Ywa
Everyone has been thinking of all kinds of futures. Most of the people think that future is great and the minority of them do not have the same idea. I aim to analyze it in this essay. To commence with, Robots will definitely do most humans works; therefore humans will enjoy more time off. This convenience has pros and cons. If the Robots work instead of humans, the number of the workers will decrease and we will not have illnesses and also this will help medical system; On the other hand these features will probably make humans lethargic, thus Robots and humans works should balance perfectly! Besides all this, I must say that these kind of developments are predicted for countries Wich are even ahead of their current time. For instance: USA, UK, Canada, France, German, Japan, South Korea, etc. it is true that in the future other countries will also benefit from the progress of developed countries, but certainly these developments are wider in the mentioned countries! As a result, with all these developments; Technology will improve perfectly and our transportations will be completely different. Another big change in the future is related to the energy that we have to use. In my way of thinking solar energy will be the main energy that people use! In the future we have to tackle with serious obstacles too. Such as: global warming, being out of oxygen and etc. In conclusion, the things that are going to invent in future; will help us to have a better life, what is more, the most things that now called magical or impossible; all will be real in the future world!
Everyone has been thinking of all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
futures
. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is great and the minority of them do not have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

I aim to analyze it in this essay.

To commence with, Robots will definitely do most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
works;
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will enjoy more time off.

This convenience has pros and cons. If the Robots work
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, the number of the workers will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decrease and
we will not have illnesses and
also
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
medical system;
On the other hand
these features will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
lethargic,
thus
Robots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
works should balance
perfectly
!

Besides
all this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of developments
are predicted
for countries
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wich
are even ahead of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time.
For instance
: USA, UK, Canada, France, German, Japan, South Korea, etc. it is true that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
other countries will
also
benefit from the progress of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certainly
these developments are wider in the mentioned countries!

As a result
, with all these developments; Technology will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
perfectly
and our transportations will be completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is related
to the energy that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In my way of thinking solar energy will be the main energy that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
!

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
tackle with serious obstacles too. Such as: global warming, being out of oxygen
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

In conclusion
,

the things that are going to invent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
; will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to have a better life,
what is more
, the most things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
called magical or impossible; all will be real in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
world!
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IELTS essay How do you think the future world is going to be?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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