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HOW DO WE MAKE OUR CITIES MORE SUSTAINABLE?

HOW DO WE MAKE OUR CITIES MORE SUSTAINABLE? B7XJw
Our world is becoming increasingly urbanized. In last 20 years, more than half the world’s population has been living in cities, and that might to rise 60% in 2030. With this extreme urbanization numbers and populations raises the problem of sustainability. This problem comes with a question: Our cities are sustainable enough? And if not, how do we make our cities more sustainable. World Economic Forum and United Nations are trying to create new projects, and also help to the people who wants develop projects for sustainable cities. In this article, we consider the recommendations of the U. N. , and present our own recommendations. With the growing human population, living in urban areas getting more difficult than 20 years before. (fragment sentence-no verb) In last 20 years, most of the big city’s populations such as, Beijing, Tokyo, Istanbul, Berlin, New York are increased. With this increase, the people that living in the big cities faced numerous problems, such as the problem of pollution, infrastructure issues, traffic jam, sound pollution etc. Under these problems, every citizen agreed that this situation is not sustainable. So, what should we do? Under the terms of these huge problems, we need to build modern, sustainable cities to accommodate everyone (globalgoals. org/11-sustainable-cities-and-communities). To make cities inclusive, safe, resilient, and sustainable, United Nations developed a new project which called “Goal 11”. With this project U. N take aim for sustainable cities and increase city developments. There are various topics includes in this project, such as free food for poor people, quality education for everyone in the city, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, clean energy, economic growth, sustainable communities, climate action, life below water, protecting forests and strong justice institutions. This project provides a wide spectrum for sustainable living and development. Also, this project aims to strengthen efforts to protect and safeguard the world’s cultural and natural heritage with to ensure more cultural areas and activities in cities (un. org/sustainabledevelopment/cities/). Another important part of this project is the supporting countries and cities for better development. The project aims to support least developed countries, including through financial and technical assistance, in building sustainable and resilient buildings utilizing local materials (un. org/sustainabledevelopment/cities/). Also, freelance project preparers offer several recommendations and has set 7 goals for sustainable cities. These recommendations include many goals, from greening buildings to increasing the efficiency of public transport and reducing car usage. For instance, “miniature urban forest goal” aims to create tiny forests in every city, and with this way intent to fight extreme carbon usage in cities. Another important project is “The 20-minute neighbourhood”. This project aims to everything a citizens needed for a happy, healthy life could be found within a 20-minute public transport trip, bike ride or walk from home (weforum. org/agenda/2020/09/cities-sustainability-innovation-global-goals/). Some cities are working to make this a reality, with Melbourne leading the way -it wants residents to always be within easy reach of things like shops, business services, education, or leisure facilities (weforum. org/agenda/2020/09/cities-sustainability-innovation-global-goals/). What about our recommendation? What should we do for sustainable cities and future? We should create an atmosphere city actors help each other and create their own projects freely. Governments should support more projects for development and but not just economic ones also for The Green New Deal. As we know, future of the planet depends on how cities grow, function, and respond to stress. By getting urban development right, cities can accelerate progress towards achieving the sustainable development goals by creating jobs and offering better livelihoods; improving social inclusion; promoting the decoupling of living standards (Woodbridge, p. 2). Protecting local and regional ecosystems also very important. Cities must grow peacefully with environment and planet ecosystems. Reducing both urban and rural poverty and ending pollution and gas emissions. By working in concert with various actors, local leader can implement effective public policies, promote the financing and delivery of sustainable infrastructure, goods, and services. These are the key to success on this matter. In the 21st century, our top priority is to get sustainable life and protect our one and only planet. But in these circumstances affected by growing population, pollution, and climate change, create sustainability for our cities and world is a very harsh challenge. But if we set our sustainability and development goals realistically and implement them on time, it is not too late. If cities change, so does the world. And we must change our current city types and create more sustainable ones. Because there is no other planet!
Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is becoming
increasingly
urbanized. In last 20 years, more than half the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and that might to rise 60% in 2030. With this extreme urbanization numbers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
raises the
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problem
of sustainability. This
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problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a question: Our
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cities
are
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sustainable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
? And if not, how do we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
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cities
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
.
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World
Economic Forum and United Nations are trying to
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create
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new
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projects
, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
wants
develop
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projects
for
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sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In this article, we consider the
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recommendations
of the U. N.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and present our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
recommendations.

With the growing human
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population
,
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living
in
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urban
areas getting more difficult than 20 years
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before
. (fragment sentence-no verb) In last 20 years, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city’s
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populations
such as, Beijing, Tokyo, Istanbul, Berlin,
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New
York
are increased
. With this increase, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
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living
in the
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big
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cities
faced numerous
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problems
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
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pollution
, infrastructure issues, traffic jam, sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
etc. Under these
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problems
, every citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that this situation is not
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sustainable
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what should we do? Under the terms of these huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, we need to build modern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to accommodate everyone (
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalgoals
. org/11-sustainable-cities-and-communities).

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
inclusive, safe, resilient, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
, United Nations developed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
which called
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“Goal
11”. With this
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project
U. N take
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aim
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and increase city
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developments
. There are various topics includes in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
, such as free food for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, quality education for everyone in the city, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, clean energy, economic growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
communities, climate action, life below water, protecting forests and strong justice institutions. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
provides a wide spectrum for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Also
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aims
to strengthen efforts to protect and safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
cultural and natural heritage with to ensure more cultural areas and activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
. org/
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainabledevelopment
/cities/). Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of this
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project
is the supporting countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aims
to support least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, including through financial and technical assistance, in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
and resilient buildings utilizing local materials (
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
. org/
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainabledevelopment
/cities/).
Also
, freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
preparers offer several
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recommendations
and has set 7
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goals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
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cities
. These
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recommendations
include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
, from greening buildings to increasing the efficiency of public transport and reducing car usage.
For instance
, “miniature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aims
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
tiny forests in every city, and with this way intent to fight extreme carbon usage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
is “The 20-minute
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
”. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aims
to everything
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a citizen" or simply "citizens"?
a citizens
needed for a happy, healthy life could
be found
within a 20-minute public transport trip, bike ride or walk from home (
Possible spelling mistake found.
weforum
. org/agenda/2020/09/cities-sustainability-innovation-global-goals/).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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cities
are working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this a reality, with Melbourne leading the way -it wants residents to always be within easy reach of things like shops, business services, education, or leisure facilities (
Possible spelling mistake found.
weforum
. org/agenda/2020/09/cities-sustainability-innovation-global-goals/).

What about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
? What should we do for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and future? We should
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create
an atmosphere city actors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other and
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create
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
freely
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should support more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
economic
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ones
also
for The Green
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New
Deal. As we know, future of the
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planet
depends on how
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cities
grow, function, and respond to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. By getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
right,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can accelerate progress towards achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
by creating jobs and offering better livelihoods; improving social inclusion; promoting the decoupling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards (Woodbridge, p. 2). Protecting local and regional ecosystems
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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Cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
grow
peacefully
with environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
ecosystems. Reducing both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and rural poverty and ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and gas emissions. By working in concert with various actors, local leader can implement effective public policies, promote the financing and delivery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
infrastructure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and services. These are the key to success on this matter.

In the 21st century, our top priority is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
life and protect our one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in these circumstances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by growing
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population
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
sustainability for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harsh challenge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if we set our sustainability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
realistically
and implement them on time, it is not too late. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. And we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
city types and
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create
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is no other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
!
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IELTS essay HOW DO WE MAKE OUR CITIES MORE SUSTAINABLE?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
747 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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