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How cultural shock effect people

How cultural shock effect people eEynA
For many years, thousands of people have been traveling and moving to other countries outside of their own country. While this change is interesting and exciting at first, it also brings with it various aspects that are difficult to overcome and even require the help of an expert. One of these various aspects is cultural shock. Cultural shock is a feeling of bewilderment that comes from suddenly encountering a culture with traditions that are unfamiliar to you. And the purpose of this research report is to explain and discuss how people from different cultures who try to speak and learn a language different from their mother tongue are affected by this culture and language change. To reach the data results of this study, 13 different people were reached through the google form. These 13 people reached are of different ages, genders, and people who try to learn a different language by moving from their own country to another country and experience this language and culture difference.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been traveling and moving to other
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countries
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their
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own
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country
. While this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is interesting and exciting at
first
, it
also
brings with it various aspects that are difficult to overcome and even require the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of an expert. One of these various aspects is cultural shock. Cultural shock is a feeling of bewilderment that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
suddenly
encountering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with traditions that are unfamiliar to you. And the purpose of this research report is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and discuss how
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people
from
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
who try to speak and learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
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different
from their mother tongue are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this
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culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To reach the data results of this study, 13
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were reached
through the
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
form. These 13
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reached are of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ages, genders, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by moving from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and experience this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
difference.
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IELTS essay How cultural shock effect people

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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