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An experience of overcoming fear

An experience of overcoming fear PLxYd
My an experience to overcome to my fear is about travel alone. I hated and scared a plethora of traveling with my self in light of the fact that I thought it is risky and can’t do it. All of my friends said you haven’t grown up and I really upset about that until when I was 24. One day my mother offered to me go to brother’s house in Moscow for two weeks, absolutely I said no because I didn’t want to go anywhere without my parents. My family convinced me and then I accepted. Those two weeks was awesome because of my brother. After one year I went to trip with my friends and until today I have a lot of trips. I have gone abroad twice. I understood not only traveling with my self is not horrible but also it is wonderful.
My an experience to overcome to my fear is about travel alone. I hated and scared a plethora of traveling with my self in light of the fact that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it is risky and can’t do it. All of my friends said you haven’t grown up and I
really
upset about that until when I was 24. One day my mother offered to me go to brother’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in Moscow for two weeks,
absolutely
I said no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn’t want to go anywhere without my parents. My family convinced me and then I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. Those two weeks was awesome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my brother. After one year I went to trip with my friends and until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trips. I have gone abroad twice. I understood not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traveling with my self is not horrible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is wonderful.

IELTS essay An experience of overcoming fear

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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