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How could this be solved

How could this be solved Xq3GO
It is undeniable that a vast number of various species are being pushed to the verge of extinction owing to human insatiability. Using animals body part for some reasons like gratuitous decorations and conventional treatments so as to cure of certain maladies may be one of by far the most major driving force behind such a tragedy. In this essay some feasible solutions will be outlined in order to address this problem. There is no denying that myriads of creatures are being in operation due to other purposes typified with making unnecessary ornaments as well as preparing traditional healing for a quantity of illnesses, that is why they might be under threat on the brink of extermination. For instance, hawksbill sea turtles have dwindled in light of killing ones for their shells, which have been distributed worldwide as travel souvenirs and incorporated into jewelry, oil whose use in traditional medicine as treatment including malaria and seizures. One of the viable solution is may be strictly banned on hunting those animals by some rules. That is to say, only if the government enforce environmental laws or impose harsh fines against poaching, can this root case of illegally hunting be devastated. Turning to the another possible tackle, second way to deal with it will probably be to descend the demand on products made from rare types of animals by improving public literacy about dire consequences of this catastrophe over displaying this current issue on social media, for example, TV set and websites. To be more precise, individuals should be informed that their unnecessary needs are a large cause of animal suffering along with being aware of that not only could it eliminate animals life, but also this destructive impact lead to phenomenal result in themselves. Namely, no consumers can be significantly contributor to refrain humankind from poaching. All in all, it can be concluded that existential threats of animal species are supposed to gradually ascend on account of widely exploiting tremendous animals for diverse aims such as decorative items and cure for some traditional disease.
It is undeniable that a vast number of various species are
being pushed
to the verge of extinction owing to human insatiability. Using
animals
body part for
some
reasons like gratuitous decorations and conventional treatments
so as to
cure of certain maladies may be one of by far the most major driving force behind such a tragedy. In this essay
some
feasible solutions will
be outlined
in order to address this problem.

There is no denying that myriads of creatures are being in operation due to other purposes typified with making unnecessary ornaments
as well
as preparing traditional healing for a quantity of illnesses,
that is
why they might be under threat on the brink of extermination.
For instance
,
hawksbill
sea turtles have dwindled in light of killing ones for their shells, which have
been distributed
worldwide as travel souvenirs and incorporated into jewelry, oil whose
use
in traditional medicine as treatment including malaria and seizures. One of the viable solution is may be
strictly
banned on hunting those
animals
by
some
rules
.
That is
to say,
only
if the
government
enforce environmental laws or impose harsh fines against poaching, can this root case of
illegally
hunting
be devastated
.

Turning to the another possible tackle, second way to deal with it will
probably
be to descend the demand on products made from rare types of
animals
by improving public literacy about dire consequences of this catastrophe over displaying this
current
issue on social media,
for example
, TV set and websites. To be more precise, individuals should
be informed
that their unnecessary needs are a large cause of
animal
suffering along with being aware of that not
only
could it eliminate
animals
life,
but
also
this destructive impact lead to phenomenal result in themselves.
Namely
, no consumers can be
significantly
contributor to refrain humankind from poaching.

All in all, it can
be concluded
that existential threats of
animal
species
are supposed
to
gradually
ascend on account of
widely
exploiting tremendous
animals
for diverse aims such as decorative items and cure for
some
traditional disease.
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IELTS essay How could this be solved

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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