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the governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on car usage.

the governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on car usage. Ew6lR
Nowadays an increasing number of people are using their own cars and have less consumption of other ways of transportation. Although it seems as the best and most comfortable choice, it contains several dangers to both the environment and humans like pedestrians. I partly agree with this idea that governments need to take some serious and quick actions to control this crisis. Therefore, I will outline some of the plans that may be influential and also the probable outcomes of this decision in the upcoming future. Firstly, we should bear in mind that this huge change cannot be made if only the governments play their roles. The local residents of each country should help their government by sticking to the related law. Riding a bicycle on some particular days, for instance, instead of driving to work by car may contribute to the less air pollution. Secondly, there is the matter of encouragement. Governments have the duty of motivating their citizens toward cutting down on their usage of cars. This may not be very achievable in a very short amount of time. It is an undeniable fact that driving your personal car would leave less expenditure and tiredness for the individual. Thus, suggesting a good offer such as a free two-week ticket for public transportation may encourage the person to use it instead of their cars. In this way, less cars would be on the streets which would lead the city towards a less crowded and more importantly a less noisy one. Overall, there are several good plans that can be performed to resolve the problem of increasing numbers of cars in cities and the harmful effects of it. To make this happen, both the governments and people need to work together, but it is the government who is more responsible, as they have the job of providing the essential conditions for this change to occur.
Nowadays an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
consumption of other ways of transportation. Although it seems as the best and most comfortable choice, it contains several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to both the environment and humans like pedestrians. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious and quick actions to control this crisis.
Therefore
, I will outline
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
plans that may be influential and
also
the probable outcomes of this decision in the upcoming future.

Firstly
, we should bear in mind that this huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
cannot
be made
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
play their roles. The local residents of each country should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
by sticking to the related law. Riding a bicycle on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular days,
for instance
,
instead
of driving to work by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
may contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
air pollution.

Secondly
, there is the matter of encouragement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
have the duty of motivating their citizens toward cutting down on their usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
achievable in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short amount of time. It is an undeniable fact that driving your personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
expenditure and tiredness for the individual.
Thus
, suggesting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
offer such as a free two-week ticket for public transportation may encourage the person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
instead
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In this way,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
would be on the streets which would lead the city towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
crowded and more
importantly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
noisy one.

Overall
, there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
plans that can
be performed
to resolve the problem of increasing numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in cities and the harmful effects of it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this happen, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to work together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who is more responsible, as they have the job of providing the essential conditions for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to occur.

IELTS essay the governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on car usage.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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