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How cholesterol leads to heart disease.

How cholesterol leads to heart disease. m3jEd
There are four steps that the cholesterol leads to heart disease. Firstly, Cholesterol it is fatty substance in our blood stream. It is happening because unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. The next step if it build up of fat in artery walls, they occur of narrowing of arteries. They have another effects like stiffening and damage to artery walls. Third, as blood flow restricted, they lack of oxygen supply. The heart tissues weaken before formation of fatty streaks in arteries. Finally, Fatty streak cracks. The clot is collecting around the crack as soon as blood flow blocked. Whenever lack of oxygen for heart muscles, they get heart attack. In conclusion, If you follow these steps you can save your self from the most of diseases.
There are four steps that the cholesterol leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
disease.
Firstly
, Cholesterol it is fatty substance in our blood stream. It is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. The
next
step if it
Did you mean "builds"?
build
up of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artery
walls, they occur of narrowing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arteries
. They have another effects like stiffening and damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artery
walls. Third, as blood flow restricted, they lack of oxygen supply. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
tissues weaken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
formation of fatty streaks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arteries
.
Finally
, Fatty streak cracks. The clot is collecting around the crack as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as blood flow blocked. Whenever lack of oxygen for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
muscles, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
attack.
In conclusion
, If you follow these steps you can save your self from the
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the diseases") or simply say "most diseases".
most of diseases
.
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IELTS essay How cholesterol leads to heart disease.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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